Spellcasted Amnesia
by Quadrono
Summary: SQUINOA (or getting there) An unexpected meeting in the past has undesirable consequences. What if Rinoa was the brilliant SeeD rebel and Squall the sorceress's pet? Can their meeting again be the unraveling of an evil spell? CHAP 9 UP!
1. Charmed

This is a story I started LONG ago. I've been updating infrequently and have lost the gist of it. I'm re-writing the chapters I have posted to refresh myself and give it a bit of a boost, so that I can continue it without too many hang – ups. 

It's always great to receive a review out of the blue. Thanks to those who did! It certainly gave me the bump I needed to get on with a story I had always intended to finish.

"All that you know has been shuffled aside as you bask in the glow of the beautiful stranger that whispers your name. Do they fill up the emptiness?"

_Drifting _– Sarah McLachlan

CHAPTER 1: Charmed

"Your hair, dear," said a soft voice close behind her, prompting her to stillness while strong hands made quick work of the tussled mess that lay atop her head. "Sit down properly, like a proper lady should; and try to be still for a moment," The girl inwardly sighed, she was in no mood for celebrations and certainly not in the mood for taking directions from a stranger whose perfume was making her nose twitch.

Nevertheless the young lady deeply inhaled. The name of the scent was immediately recognizable: _Innocence_ – by a famous Galbadian designer.It was one perfume that did not suit middle – age spinsters. The hands made easy work of her dark hair, with the occasional tug and pull; the stout lady standing behind her definitely knew what she was doing as she briskly finished her work with perfection. She smiled as she looked down toward the sullen face which the lovely hair now framed.

"There now, all ready." Strong hands grabbed, and turned her around. Rinoa watched warily as shrewd eyes made their way across her face, and hands fluffed her hair. She bit her lip as a stray hair tickled her nose, and her eyes watered with the effort not to flinch or sneeze. Blue eyes leveled themselves with hers. "Are you coming down with cold? That will not do at all! Red eyes, red nose, red cheeks; heavens!" Rinoa rolled her eyes at this tirade but said nothing. She was well trained in keeping quiet.

"_Oh! _But you do look lovely, dear." The lady brought her face close. Rinoa had to keep from jerking back. She always, always felt uncomfortable being scrutinized by these people, yet she was used to their presence, it never bothered her very much afterwards. "Maybe a hint of shimmer, yes… lightly dusted on your hair… Please do try to smile, Rinoa dear. Gently bred ladies should always smile. Polite but impartial smiles, of course. Please try to remember."

"You do much justice to my handiwork. Turn around!" It was more of an order than a request, and Rinoa huffed as she complied. Positioned directly in front of a full length mirror, she stared at the image in the mirror, surprised and pleased at what she saw. Gone were the features that distinctively marked her as a child, mingled with a sharper, chiseled ones beginning to emerge. Her dark hair was shorter than she remembered, styled so that the ends curved past her jaw line.

"You are fortunate, Rinoa. Few girls your age are blessed with such fetching beauty at a young age. Most of them are late bloomers, some never bloom at all… You however…" She continued, much too excited now to stop her charade.

"You're lucky also, that your father called upon _me_ to transform his riffraff daughter into a real princess…" _She loves herself doesn't she? _"You'll have the suitors your father wants so bad lining up… thanks to me, of course… and…"

Rinoa gave a loud, unladylike yawn. She was tired of these people, and she didn't care much for the prospect of her being baited for suitors by her father, on his own wedding day either. The ambition that drove her father was fueled by something Rinoa or her mother could never comprehend. _But suitors? At fourteen? _The thought almost made Rinoa laugh out loud, though the practice of being engaged at a young age was common in the upper social classes of Galbadia. Tears blurred the outer corners of her eyes. Did he not care at all for her dear, dead mother? His wife of fourteen years? _And she isn't even cold in her grave yet. _Caught up in her thoughts, she did not see the sudden motion behind her.

"Ouch!" Rinoa yelped as a sharp, hot, stinging sensation snapped her skin. She knew the usual thin leather strip had been bought down upon her hand, the pain it brought remained the same throughout the years. She rubbed her injured spot, glaring at the lady.

"_I _did not make you beautiful to have you spoil it by roadside manners! You _will_ not yawn like that. Not now, not ever. Your father will be displeased when I tell him." Rinoa nodded, she had partially tuned out of the lecture. It _was _the same rules being repeated anyway. Her eyes strayed to the open window, where the opening ceremony was beginning to take place, and watched the fireworks go off; one by one – both wishing and not wishing herself there.

But the beauty of the outside could not lighten her mood or bring a smile to her face. Her mind was caught up in a turmoil of emotions ranging from a simmering rage to just plain melancholy. She lifted her chin, as if in defiance of what she was feeling but could not misplace the simple feeling that was her missing her mother. The shock of her death had not worn off and no mourning period had been set by her father. _There was to be a wedding instead. _

* * *

I'll take it step by step, day by day if need be – but I will get there, he thought. He wandered the streets of Deling City, awe stricken at how different it seemed from quiet Island Balamb where he had spent most of his life. In his hand he held an old piece of cloth, a Galbadian insignia imprinted upon it – and remembered whispers of the Kramers: abandoned as a child… wrapped in Galbadian uniform…

It had been years since Squall Leonhart had enrolled in SeeD. He was into his fourteenth year. A quiet, intelligent student who excelled in almost anything he was taught. He had saved up years of his cadet allowances to allow him to buy the train ticket here. If anything, he would not miss Galbadia having a ball. After all, it could have been blood calling to blood by the way he felt driven to be there tonight. What were the chances he could find a clue to who his father was? One to many, many millions, his military mind answered. But it had been a childhood dream of his to someday see the city, to catch a glimpse of the place he might have lived.

_If only… and then Sis left. Is it me? Seifer certainly dislikes me without reason. _

Now, he was here. Breathing in the smell of smoke and cars and slowly walking the streets of this beautiful city. Lit up at night like a thousand candles burning bright, Deling seemed every inch the place to be. It was so much different than anything he had ever seen, he watched the fireworks explode one by one; walking as if in a trance towards those bright lights that dazzlingly lit up the whole sky, if only for a while. It was so different from the small, quiet sea – side community of Balamb.

The crowd that had gathered was massive. Most of the citizens of Galbadia had attended. After all, it wasn't everyday the General Caraway decided to host an open feast; but that they said, was only because it fell upon his wedding day. It wasn't mentioned, but quietly whispered amongst the common people, the fact that he had not held a feast on the day he wed his first wife, Julia – a young talented singer at that time. The crowd that had gathered in front of the Caraway Mansion was equally impressive. Young and old had come to pay respects to the newly wed General and Countess.

It was there, as he wandered; watching – breathtakingly beautiful displays of fire across the sky he first noticed. As he stood and 'ooh – ed' and 'aah –ed' at them along with the crowd; his attention was drawn increasingly towards the large highly decorative table upon a dais. It was laden with food, much more than the people seated at it could ever eat.

He watched them for a few moments wondering who was who, when he noticed her. In truth he did not notice her straightaway, but more of the act that she was inclined to do once every few minutes. She looked disinterested in the celebration, and he watched as her hand deftly moved pieces of food from off her plate and threw them in the direction of some large potted plants – and then set to help herself to another, to only throw it again.

She suddenly raised her head, looking into the crowd – and straight at him. And for the first time, he was stunned. They stared at each other for long moments. He was aware of the depth of the gaze, he felt lost inside – somewhat desperately – as if he was sinking to the depths of himself, not struggling with these new emotions that stirred within him. Yet, as much as he was curious of these feelings, he felt equally terrified at the thought of them, more likely – at the thought of _her._

_Who is she? Some long lost sister of mine? _

He watched her steadily. Watched as her lips curved into a dimpled smile and watched as her face turned an alarming shade of red as she suddenly found interest in twirling her eating utensils upon her plate. He decided to get closer. He went discreetly, easing his way across the crowd, wanting a closer look. Stealthily he crept closer to the table. There were guards posted around it, more than he had seen in just one area.

He had made it – crouching and barely breathing, he parted the leafy plants only to find the chair empty. He let out his breath in a rush of disappointment. _Why do I feel like I need to see her, if just to catch a glimpse?_ Squall shook his head, suddenly feeling like a fool. What was he doing there in the first place?

Suddenly he felt himself being pushed over. Surprised, he lost balance and fell onto his back with a thud. He started upwards, only to be pressed back down towards the ground by a very large, long haired dog; panting heavily upon him, casting drops of liquid on his person. He raised his head and stared at the dog in disgust before laying it back down with a loud _thump._

Squall breathed heavily for a few moments, trying to catch his breath as much as recollect his thoughts. _A guard dog? Somehow, I don't think so…_ The dog cocked his head suddenly and sprang off, only to be back moments later – taking a firm bite of Squall's bottom pant leg, forcing him to stand up and follow. The dog lead him somewhat slowly, as if understanding his hostage's reluctance.

_Smart dog... though I'd like to know where she's taking me to. I would be more cooperative if she'd let me go! I would follow out of curiosity alone. This is definitely not a trained military dog. Dumb bitch_…

As if understanding Squall's statement, the dog gave a sudden whine and sat down; covering her eyes with both paws _Maybe I should give this dog more credit. _Squall's annoyance vanished as his cautious nature kicked in, someone was coming. He gave a great inward sigh: he would be caught a little too close to the Caraway's dining table – with a dog tagged on his leg.

"Angelo! Come out now!" Squall could hear the exasperation in the persons voice, and he or she definitely wasn't taking any pains to be quiet. "Where are the scraps of food, Angelo? I threw quite a lot. Have you eaten them _all_?" The footsteps alone gave Squall a pretty good idea where she was standing and moving.

_A girl… could it be? _Squall craned his head toward the voice, but he couldn't see much in the murky light. He suddenly had to suppress an enormous yelp as the dog decided to give another nip at his leg. He smacked the dog lightly, almost voicing his irritation. He decided to look for her again, turning slightly when suddenly he almost stopped breathing altogether as he heard a suppressed giggle. He looked around, still sitting.

A rustle of leaves and there she was, squatting in front of him and staring hard. She was partly amused by the sight of her dog seemingly guarding a _very _cute guy.

"Umm, hi there." She said with diffidence; amusement coloring her voice.

Squall just stared. _The dog is heavy…_

"Oh, I'm sorry. Angelo, get up!" She helped ease the unwilling dog off, and it gave a small whimper as if to say: _I caught it, why can't I keep it?_ Squall stood up shaking dirt and leaves off his clothes, aware that she was watching him; and not wanting to imply how he _had _come with the intention of seeing her, he simply said, "This your dog?" The girl nodded. They felt uncomfortable, but neither were inclined to part.

She decided to break the ice. "My name's Rinoa, I live about here." She gestured with her hand, not at anything particular. Squall assumed she meant the city in general. Although she seemed carefree and friendly enough, Squall noticed that she was distinctively upset about something, her eyes showed multitudes of emotions. "What about you?"

"I'm from Balamb." He said, withholding his name. She had to be some important personage to have dined upon the plateau; Squall wondered what she was doing here, alone. The girl in front of him didn't seem to notice. Instead, her eyes' grew wide with surprise. Squall tried in vain to correctly guess the colour, but the dimly lit garden was not too accommodating. He supposed that he would not tire of trying.

The girl gave a small smile. "Balamb. That's a long way. I've heard that island is beautiful. Peaceful." She closed her eyes for a few moments as if trying to feel the salty island breeze in the air. Squall took this opportunity to stare at her unabashedly. She was like no girl he had seen before. Very unlike the girls among the SeeD cadets, she reminded him somewhat of Quistis. He sensed her primary strength lay within, below the smooth skin and regal bearing. Her eyes reopened slowly, and she smiled at him and said wistfully. "I would love to go there someday."

Squall felt his stomach turning with that smile. "It's home," he said simply.

"Home, yes." Rinoa repeated, with a strange note in her voice and a distant look in her eye. "You came for the wedding celebration?" Squall noticed she had said 'wedding' with a bitter note, as if disgusted at the whole idea of weddings and celebrating them. He didn't answer her directly. He had not even known that the celebration was for a wedding.

"I came to see the city." Squall answered indirectly, shifting on his feet.

Rinoa smiled. He was _so _uncomfortable and doing a really good job at hiding it. She sensed a certain aloofness in him. He was nice enough, she guessed. Certainly polite, but there was something else she saw. A guardedness in his eyes, the way he skipped around her questions. She looked at him seriously for a moment, then broke into a large grin; extending her hand. "Would you like a tour of Deling City, Squall?" _Anything to get away from my father… and that scary woman who'll be my step – mother come morning. _

Rinoa felt a sudden breeze and a sensation on her forehead. For an instant, she could almost her mother's voice. The musical – like quality of it almost shook Rinoa to the core of her being. And also warmed an inner part she thought to be frozen over. _Be my carefree little girl. You'll only be that once. _Words of a lifetime past. For a moment, she could almost, _almost _feel ghostly lips brushing her hair. She shivered involuntarily, still holding out her hand, but more determined to befriend this boy from Balamb.

She watched as he stared at her outstretched hand, watched his face turn into a kaleidoscope of expressions before he reluctantly accepted it. "This is going to be so much fun. What do you like best about Deling City so far, Squall?" Rinoa said with a large smile on her face. Squall thought it was odd how her expression just then had seemed like she was on the very verge of tears, then focus again with teasing determination helped with the impish smile on her face.

"The fireworks… lights," he looked at their joined hands before looking at her face. _You… _

Her smile grew wider. "Oh! That means I've got to show you my place." As soon as the words flew out of her mouth, Rinoa realized how her words actually sounded. She picked at an imaginary piece of dust on her sleeve, averting her face.

Squall's face reddened a little as he choked out the words, "Your place?"

Rinoa lifted shining eyes to his. "Yeah, it's great. It's got an incredible view of Deling City, especially during nights like these. You'll love it, I'm sure. Shall we go?" She turned to face him, and Squall felt himself sink into the deepest depths of himself in her gaze – and nodded.

She led him through streets and unknown alleyways, Squall took note of the secret passages that she had led him through, maybe in the future his assignment would depend on it. Just in case. She talked constantly as they walked; her chatter was lighthearted and easy to listen to for Squall. The dog called Angelo faithfully padded behind, occasionally pausing to lick his hand or demand attention from his mistress.

They reached a tall structure, a large was held up by some device, since people would be entering and leaving during the course of the celebration. He let her lead him by the hand, somewhat liking the feeling of her soft fingers touching his calloused ones. So intent was Squall at concentrating on what he was feeling, he did not notice her bending over to lift up what looked to be a cover of a man – hole. Well, not quite.

He stared at her uncomprehendingly, "Why would you want to go down there?" _She knows it's a sewer right? _His companion made a sound that sounded between a snort and a giggle of exasperation as she rolled her eyes toward him. "Yes, I _do _know it's a sewer."

Rinoa did not notice how the pair of eyes beside her widened in surprise or the small gasp that accompanied it. Squall gave his head a violent shake. _Weird… _

"Just follow me!" She said as she deftly jumped inside through the small hole. She looked up at him, at his shocked expression. "Come on! Trust me…" Rinoa reached her hands up towards him, urging him to follow.

Squall gave a small sigh before quickly jumping in. She flashed him a smile before taking his hand again. He surveyed his surroundings with a trained eye.

They walked through passageways that seemed identical to Squall, the same scene at every turn. _I hope she knows where she's going._ They were walking through square tunnels with streams of shallow, murky yellowish colored water running below them. The walls were streaked with green and the air around them was stagnant, lending a musky smell to the atmosphere. "What is this place?"

"A sewer," she answered coyly, watching his reaction to being teased. "Can't you tell?" There was only a small fraction of a lifted brow. Rinoa inwardly giggled. She couldn't explain just why she felt this free.

After a while, they came upon a stairway that looked as if it went up a very long way. He looked at her resignedly though his curiosity was budding, "Up there?"

"Yup. Quickly though, the last bout of fireworks is about to go off." She said already beginning the long flight of stairs. Squall shook his head and looked at his watch. The last train back to Balamb would be in a few hours. But strangely, he felt that a few hours was too short _with her_. Squall hurried after her. Just like a stamina training session, he thought.

He came up and found himself in a small room, filled with many mechanisms with a large open frame overlooking the large ornamental gate. And, she was right; he admitted to himself, the view was amazing. From where he was standing he could already see a view overlooking the most attractive and lively parts of the city. Rinoa was standing by the frame, hands placed upon the still. "Beautiful, isn't it? It's actually a room which holds the mechanisms to control the opening and closing of that large gate over there. See?" Rinoa motioned for him to come closer.

He came to stand beside her, taking in the view while trying to decide inwardly which he found more enchanting, the scenery or the girl quietly standing to his right. He cleared his throat softly before asking, "Rinoa, how did you find this place?" Rinoa turned to him and smiled; it was the first time he had used her name, and it warmed her inside like wine. "Once, when I was young… I would come here to escape punishment. Nowadays, I just visit it now and then when things get too…" Squall raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to finish. "Tough." She said, with an exasperated tone. Squall nodded. Tough was a word he understood through and through.

Rinoa looked at him. She tried her best to memorize every feature and every way his hair fell around his eyes. She would love for him to say her name again. This… connection she had felt upon meeting him, it was disturbing and comforting at the same time. She knew she did not want him to go. _Ever._

_What's she smiling at? _Looking at those glowing eyes that were steadily locked onto his almost robbed Squall of his breath.

_What could it hurt? I like him… he's leaving… and I've never lost before… _Rinoa suddenly showed a packet of triple triad cards, keeping the tremble from her hands. "So," she started. "How about it? Want to try beat Deling's unbeatable champion?" She asked, smirking.

Squall was quick to reply, nodding enthusiastically, reaching into his back pocket for his ever – present cards. This was right up his street. "What if I win?"

"If you win, you get to kiss me…" Rinoa stated simply, carefully picking out her cards while watching her companion discreetly. Squall could feel his face redden. He actually _wanted _to win this game, not that he had ever lost before… but the stakes had not felt so high.

"We'll play with all the rules, you mind?" Squall quickly shook his head. He would _not _lose.

"Okay then…" Rinoa flipped her cards over, revealing her cards to Squall as he did the same.

Thirty minutes later, after several draws they were still at it. There were no outward signs of one winning or the other losing. Beads of sweat covered both contestants forehead while they concentrated on the task before them. The combos that were flipped were skillfully countered and they played on, tirelessly. Squall was surprised at her skill, no one he had ever encountered had ever had a counter – flip to his combos, he stared at her while she thought out her next move. _She's… amazing. Better than Quistis even._

Rinoa giggled, she saw a glitch in one of his traps and saw a way to turn it against him. She felt his eyes on her and she felt herself grow warm under his gaze. She placed her card, watching him think over his next move. He didn't take long as placed the card she knew he would and she watched as a majority of the cards placed turned over. He sat back, slightly smirking.

"Watch… and learn." She said, as she put down her card triumphantly looking delightfully as his cards turned; and later laughing at his face as he dejectedly looked down, shamefaced with a small smile tugging the corner of his lips.

"Winner takes all, remember?" She teased, half serious and half not. They were playing with the 'diff' rule, so it was only fair. Squall wordlessly shuffled the cards he was playing with and handed them over.

Rinoa turned them over in her hand. She had not thought he actually would just give them up like that, but she looked them over anyway. Impressive, she thought. There was one which immediately caught her eye. It was a player card. The resemblance was striking; the shape of the eyes if not their colour, the breadth of the forehead, the fine light brown hair. She was so beautiful, Rinoa thought. _Just like him. _

"But… this looks kind of rare. Are you sure? No rematch?" Rinoa blurted, her eyes wide. She turned the card in her hand. "Where did you get this?"

Squall shrugged and nonchalantly said, "I've had it ever since I can remember."

Rinoa was both elated at getting a new rare card and worried if she had upset him. She just felt like she wanted him around, always. Wouldn't the people of Deling City laugh over a Caraway daughter playing a common game like Triple Triad – and with a boy from a small town like Balamb too, almost giggling at the thought. _Let me have this moment, if just for a while. Mother, _you _would not mind, would you? _

"Squall…" Rinoa said slowly, deliberately. Her eyes lit up as his met hers and he gave her a confused small lopsided smile, not picking up her tone. "You don't want to know what _I _get for winning?" Squall shook his head, not exactly sure what she had in mind. "You won my cards," he said uncertainly. Rinoa shook her head slowly, looking every inch the innocent seductress.

"Well… if I win, _I_ get to kiss _you_…"

Squall looked downwards, suddenly finding great interest in the dust at his feet, his face felt hot and suddenly he felt nervous about looking at her eyes. _Whatever… _He felt a small finger tilt his chin up and he found himself looking into her eyes, wandering downwards towards her lips. Rinoa smiled, her eyes never left his as she drew herself nearer, wanting to kiss this boy more than anything else right now, and she felt her heart tremble as they sat; their noses barely touching.

Squall leaned in and closed the gap. This was right, they were right, he thought. He had not expected her lips to be so warm and soft, touching and clinging to his own. The scent of her hair intoxicated him, he pulled her closer, placing a tentative hand upon the small of her back.

Rinoa opened her eyes. She gazed at his face while he kissed her, taking in every detail and locking it deep within her heart. She felt a calm descend upon her as she relished in the simple pleasure of his lips moving upon hers. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment. _First kisses aren't so bad… this is great. I will remember this forever. _"Yes, forever." Rinoa murmured against his lips before settling back into the kiss.

Squall had never felt like this before, she filled his senses completely and it was a heady feeling to have this girl in his arms. She touched his face before they parted, sending queer feelings to flutter inside Squall.

"Will you come back here?" Rinoa asked, her lips barely inches away from his own.

Squall looked down at her. He had blown his entire cadet savings for a return ticket. It would take years to collect that amount again. Yet… he wanted to stay here, with her; to freeze time and be able to stay with her, forever. He had come searching for a relation, a blood tie… family, but he had found something else instead. A something worth more than words could ever describe, and ties stronger than any family bond.

Rinoa averted her eyes, her voice unsteady. "Perhaps I incorrectly phrased what I meant." Her hands brushed through his hair, feeling the silkiness of the strands as she rubbed them between her fingers. "What I meant was, _please _come back." And with a strangled whisper Squall barely heard, she said as if speaking to herself, "_Don't go away_."

Squall was quite content to just breathe the air that surrounded her, running his fingers down the contours of her face. But he couldn't lie to her, his life was elsewhere. "I don't think I'll be able to. For a long while…" Squall struggled to continue, "You can't imagine how much… you mean to me right now." Rinoa gave a watery smile. She knew he had to leave. _Balamb… is so far away._ "I understand. I feel the same… it's like I've always known you. I want you to have this though – to remember me by."

Rinoa drew away from him and shook her hair back, revealing two, small platinum studs; rounded to perfection and they glinted in the shadowy light. "But I'm only giving you one side, I want to keep the other." She took it from her ear with ease and placed it in his hand. She did not want him to leave without a reminder of her. "You should go, the last train leaves in 15 minutes."

Squall reluctantly stood up. He placed the stud inside his left breast pocket and nodded to her. "You still have my card. I'll come back someday… even if it is to win it back from you." He said with a trace of humor in his voice, then turned around and walked away. Funny, he thought, how he could remember the way out as easy as ABC. He did not look back.

She stared at his figure retreating in the dark and reached a hand up to her right ear, where the remaining stud was left. She did not want to see him go, but she had no right to make him stay. She stared in the direction that he had left for a long time, as if wanting to preserve the last presence of him. _This should not mean so much to me… _"Damn, I didn't even catch his name." She whispered. But inside – deep down, there was this feeling of inevitability between them. Like loadstones drawn to the other.

"But it does… matter. It matters very much." She said aloud, kicking imaginary trash at her feet. "We _will _meet again." Youth and innocence deluded her of how strong their bond _would _be. But fate would not pave their way with flowers.

* * *

The shimmering image vanished. Leaving two people silenced, standing and staring still into the place where the image had been. One looked impossibly angry while the other simply smiled and placed a comforting arm upon her companion. She leaned over and laughingly whispered in his ear. "You wanted to know what she was doing…"

"Rinoa…" The man breathed out. His daughter! Doing that with some boy she barely knew! Her absence from table of honor was duly noticed by her newly appointed step – mother who did not hesitate to tell her husband. Sweat beaded out from under his ceremonial jacket and under his brow and his face was turning an alarming shade of red. "Who is this scum? Show him to me now!"

An image appeared as they both saw a boy, sitting alone at the train station, looking intently at something in his hand. He then slipped it into his pocket only to bring it out and study it intently again. General Caraway's voice boomed across the room in recognition. "That's Deling City's train station! Guards! Stop the last train!"

"Edea… deal with Rinoa, please. There must be something you can do, something you can say to put some sense into her." He was not called a General for no reason. When he spoke to her like that, it was an order. Nothing less. "As her step – mother it is now your duty. Also make it _very _clear that no such behavior like that will be tolerated; in _or _out of this house." Edea shot a look of scorn at her newly wed husband and swept out of the room with the regal grace of a queen. He waited for her to leave the room before turning to the assembled guards that had flooded the room.

Edea's brows snapped together with barely concealed anger. This was not going at all as planned. She could sense he had stubborn nature as well as a strong mind. It would take a long time to weaken him and have him eating from her hand. She needed his influence and the sheer number of men he commanded for her ultimate plan to succeed. It was that opportunity that made her steel her way to his hand in marriage. The idea of it was enough to stir the lusts in her blood.

"I'm his _wife_! Who does he think I am to be ordered around? If he wants this problem solved. I _will _solve it… but it will suit me. I will do it _my _way!" Edea hissed, storming her way to Rinoa's bedroom, no longer keeping up pretences as a genteel lady to the guards that littered the hallway. Her steps were now predatory, her breathing hitched in anticipation of what she would do. Her hand raised to knock but stopped before any noise was made. "If it goes my way… Rinoa will be gone _and _unaware of her threat as a sorceress to me. Her mother was a soft one, no wonder the battle of wills destroyed her. This one, however is still a threat nevertheless." Her lips curved in a malicious way, calculating evil contorting it and lending a demonic look to her beautiful face. "And… I could receive a knight in return. Though it will take time for him to be fully trained and tuned perfectly."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, that she even had to be polite to this repulsive, spoilt girl made her patience run out. She opened the door noisily and strode over to the bed roughly pulling the covers off. She gave a great yell of anger when she realized Rinoa simply was not there.


	2. New Beginnings

Squall sat silently on the bench. Patience for him was an easy thing, it bordered unnatural the way he seemed to not care about waiting. He had been sitting there for almost an hour fiddling with Rinoa's stud. It'll go on my left ear, the other side will be her right ear, as soon as I get back to Balamb, Squall promised himself. 

A little further away, behind craters and other junk, a girl stood watching. She did not know why she had followed him, but she knew that she had to watch him get on a train and leave before she could settle her thoughts. She loved watching his hands, the way they would play with the small stud, looking at it as if was the most amusing thing in the world. She suddenly saw something else that made her blood run cold. She bought a hand to her mouth, and watched. 

_My father?! What's he doing here? And with those armed guards…_

Squall turned around swiftly towards the direction of the gasp. He saw no one. Again, a rustle… a shuffle of feet. He studied the area with a trained eye, and at last when he was sure there was no body there, he turned again to watch for incoming trains. He stared right into a large gun barrel, aimed right between his eyes. _The General! Is he crazy?_

Rinoa winced as the butt of the gun rammed into Squall's midsection. He did not make a sound, silently doubling over in pain; not understanding the reason for this uncalled for attack. Rinoa watched wide – eyed and trembling as her father beat mercilessly upon him, unable to wrench her eyes away, horror – stricken by the thought that somehow it was because of her. _How could he know… and I did not tell him my last name…_

"How dare you lay your hands upon royal property of Galbadia!" The General screamed, lifting Squall up by his hair. "I will make sure you experience some famed Galbadian hospitality. Guards!" 

*          *          *

He lay in a cell, his face and body bruised beyond recognition. Blood matted his hair and he couldn't move. He heard a sound of movement. Feet scurried cautiously toward his tiny barred prison and he recognised the voice even if he could not see her face. 

"Squall? It's me… I'm so sorry for all this. I'll get you out of there… and home soon." Rinoa couldn't believe her eyes, it was so gruesome. The bloody smell had made her want to vomit, but she forced herself to remain calm and detached. Her father was a hard man, but she had never thought him as cruel. _He actually did such a thing… did he know that it would hurt me too? She had to find a key… anything to get him out. She watched as his head moved slightly and whispered, "I'll come back… I promise." _

She turned quickly and gasped. Seeing, standing in front of her the new countess of the house. Looking as evil as she did beautiful, Edea gave a small laugh. It rang like silver bells echoing with deathly tones.  

"You did not know your father had such… talent for such sport, did you? You might want to take a closer look; you might be in the same state should you start _refusing suitors, or disobeying your father… or __me," she said calmly, observing her nails intently. Edea looked Rinoa over, accessing her and smiling all the while. Suddenly she stood up and moved threatingly close to Rinoa, staring daggers into her eyes. "Why don't you run, Rinoa? It's really easy and I'll help you. Just don't come back – ever." _

"What are you saying?" Rinoa's voice came out small, "Why are you being so hateful? Will you let him go if I agree?" The laughter began again. "Why, Rinoa! Of course… I would never have wanted this," she gestured at the blood puddles upon the floor, "It was really your fathers doing…"

"My father… he will be searching," Rinoa said. "Even though there is no love lost between us, he will search." As soon as those words left her mouth she felt a bitter feeling brew in her. Squall was hurt, the only friend she had outside fancy curtsy parties and meaningless dinners. He was the only friend she had by choice. _"How dare you lay hands upon royal property of Galbadia!" She gave an inward sob, after all she was just property to her own father. _

"Rinoa, please. You will not be missed, I can assure you that much. Just tell me one thing – is it so difficult to run like the coward you are?" Edea turned her eyes upon Rinoa once more, "Perhaps you won't even remember any of this," she added with a sly smile. "Run." 

Rinoa stood still. "I will come back, if only to make you pay." And with that she turned and slowly walked away. As she walked a strange feeling crept over her, she stumbled her footsteps, dazed. Meanwhile, Edea was chanting, using her power and skill to cast the taxing spell. Sweat poured down her forehead and her slightly covered cleavage as she gritted her teeth. "They will not remember…" she whispered after she had finished.  She wiped her brow and looked leeringly inside the cage. "Pathetic child," she took note of him more closely, noting the hardened trained look he had to him and the inner strength and courage. "But I'll make you more than that. Training will start tomorrow." Edea looked to the direction of the door. "What say you, Knight of Galbadia?"

*          *          *

Rinoa pulled herself up. Where am I? She hesitantly stepped forward, a step at a time. Trying to get hold of herself and waiting for the throbbing in her head to subside. She felt the cool night wind upon her skin and she saw a kindly lady walking toward her. The lady was beautiful, the stuff of tales with ivory skin, dark hair… and the strangest yellow eyes. She came up right to Rinoa and handed her an envelope. 

"Here's your train ticket to Balamb, Rush. Good thing I didn't miss you." _Rush?__ That's not my name… my name is… What is my name? Rinoa took the envelope in her hands. I am bound for Balamb? Why is my memory so awry, how could I forget if I was doing that? The lady looked concerned. "What are you waiting for? The train is leaving around now, you don't want to miss it. I hope you've enjoyed your holiday here. Tell your folks Aunt Elena has had a wonderful time having you here." She didn't want to appear confused in front of this woman as she seemed genuinely worried about her. Auntie? Just take a guess, make excuses later. _

"Well… thank you Auntie. I've had a nice time. Surely my parents are anxious for my return by now. Thank you." Rinoa said with a confused smile, the lady patted her hand and gave her a gentle push while pointing to the direction of the train station. "Be well, Rush!" Rinoa walked slowly, unsure of everything around her. Behind her back, the retreating figure doubled over with sarcastic laughter. 

_Just go along with it. I'll be better in no time, maybe I hit my head or something… "Rush… my name is Rush. I'm from Balamb… I have an Aunt named Elena in Deling City." She muttered to herself in the train. She was aware of her surroundings, the place… time. But she felt she knew absolutely nothing about herself. "I'm going home to Balamb. My family will be there waiting… surely I'll remember them, and they'll bring me around all right." For the first time since discovering herself in the alley, she felt hope. _

*          *          *

"Miss! Excuse me, Miss. The train has arrived in Balamb. Passengers are getting off now." The staff looked apologetically at her, he had not wanted to awaken the sleeping girl. "Your luggage will be unloaded. Please, this way." 

The newly named Rush looked around her. Luggage? She couldn't even remember packing. She made her way to the unloading area, they were winding around slowly, empty. She was waiting for family, she remembered that lady _My auntie… saying that much, so she sat on one of the many benches that littered the street and waited. She watched as families met their loved ones, sweethearts kissed and children getting tossed in the air. It felt good to be home. __Home? _

Later.  The street was empty and the air was chilling. There was no sign whatsoever of a family – gathering – to – come. Rush stared at her hands, they were cold. She couldn't understand for the life of her what she was doing here and why no one had come. She took stock of herself not comprehending anything that was happening. She had no money, no luggage. It could have been stolen of course, that was what she had planned to tell her folks. She felt around her neck – a necklace, and a ring thread through it. She gripped it hard feeling lost all of a sudden, she couldn't remember her past… her last name… It was if her memories had only started the moment she took the ticket from the lady that was supposedly her aunt. 

She ran her other hand through her hair, enjoying the feel of it. Her fingertips brushed her right stud and she suddenly sat up straight. For a moment she thought she had gone crazy as an image of an adorable boy smiled at her, later kissing her. She saw a bloody pulp on the floor… "It was just my imagination… tricks of the mind…" Rush whispered to herself, hugging herself tightly. She shivered in the night wind. _My family will come, they'll make this right. I'm just a little bugged She started as someone speaking to her._

"Hello. Umm… I'm Zell Dintch. I live over there," he stretched his arm and pointed to a house up the road. "My mother says she's seen you here since late evening. It's almost early morning… and," the boy laughed nervously, he seemed unable to stand still. "She wants you to come over, have some hot food and shut eye for the night…" 

Rush was startled at first by the offer, but then the thought of food and a soft place to sleep stole her over. She nodded to the spiky haired boy and followed him to his house. The smell of food made her mouth water and the round smiling woman made her feel right at home. She promptly found herself steered to the dinner table and made to sit down and devour the delicious pieces of food while answering to the questions Zell's mother was asking. 

"What's your name?" 

"Rush…" she replied, looking puzzled. _What's my last name? Just make one up… The stately woman looked on expectantly, "Rush… err, Olsen. I've just come from Deling." _

"But you're from here?"

"I…I am." _I think… Zell gave her a sharp glance. He had never seen her before in his life, he was sure she was hiding something, but she didn't seem the bad kind to occasionally drop in to Ma Dintch's hospitality. Rush gave a deliberate long gulping of the soup, opening her eyes widely she said, "This soup tastes so good, Mrs Dintch; I could eat the whole pot. What is it?" _

Ma Dintch beamed at her. She was terribly proud of her cooking and to Rush's relief she began to talk of recipes and different types of ingredients used when cooking the same dish. She could never bore of this topic, oblivious to others peoples disinterest. Rush was beginning to regret asking when Ma Dintch gave an enormous yawn. "Oh my, I _am sleepy. Zell will show you the guest bedroom after you're finished. I really must get some shut – eye." Rush and Zell both echoed 'goodnights' after her and not long after some terrible snoring began from the floor above. Rush and Zell both giggled loudly. _

            "Rush… who are you, really? I know you're not really from Balamb, I've lived here for years now… never seen you before. You were lucky Ma was tired…" He looked apologetic for asking, "And… the last name, there are no Olsen's here. It's a small place."   

So I told him, what there was to tell anyway. About the lady being my aunt and the ending of the holiday in Deling City – and her calling me Rush, thus naming me. It wasn't a very long story after all, just strange. "Where will you go tomorrow? I'll be going back to Garden." 

            Rush sighed. "It's just weird… suddenly realising I have no identity… no luggage even," she gave a wry laugh. "But sometimes I see weird things…" 

            Zell's brows quirked up at that. "Hey, you might be having flashbacks or something…" 

"I do admit I can't remember my last name, I made it up when your mother asked…" Rush confessed. "Didn't want her to think I was a runaway trouble child or something… Where did you say you were going?"

            "Garden. Balamb Garden. It's quite close, that's how I can come home so often."

"What's a 'Garden'?" She asked automatically. 

Zell sighed, "You really don't know? It's a type of military school… we're trained to fight, but we also function as an academic school." Zell's eye's suddenly lit up and he stood up loudly, making the chair fall backwards as he started punching the air. "Since you can't remember who you are… your family or anything, why not come to Garden with me?"

"Go with you to Garden? I – …" 

"Wait! I know… but listen, there are lots of orphans there. Most of them don't have families… so, I thought… it's a good idea, right?" He looked absolutely convinced it was the way to go. 

"Listen, if you stay here… everyone will think you're a trouble kid with things to hide, and you don't have a home. You'll be homeless with no money. At Garden you'll be fed and you get allowances." 

Rush nodded. It did sound good, considering her current situation. 

"Yeah, sure. There are entrance tests and all, nothing so bad. Fitness is the main criteria, if you lean toward academics, then they'll train you for intelligence. How 'bout you just come and see?" 

Rush wasn't so sure about staying there, but she felt like she could trust this Zell, chatterbox and all. And what choice had she? She was in some ways, very lucky. She could have ended up in worse places had she followed someone else. She nodded. This time in a sure way. "I'll go with you tomorrow, Zell." 

"Aw – right!" Zell punched the air. "You won't regret it! And… I'll help you out, if you don't know anything." 

Rush yawned. Suddenly everything seemed so nice, yet far from simple. She held out her hand to him. "Friends?"

"Friends."

*          *          *

            A month later. 

Rush looked at herself in the full length mirror. She had changed since she had come here, to Balamb. She was a SeeD cadet. There was within her daily actions that suggested she was more. She barely forgot anything she was taught; she was, in a word a valued student. A promising one certainly. Her withdrawn manner had drawn a close knit of friends, mainly Zell and an older cadet named Quistis. 

Her hand passed over her uniform. "I've accomplished so much in so little time. When I find myself…" Her fingers fondled her stud and the ring upon her necklace. Passing images of a boy and a lovely dark haired woman flashed. "Find you… and you. Maybe I'll be me, the real me." 

A/N: Tell me what you think, guys! This is just actually an introduction of sorts. The next chapter starts off anew, when they're all older. 


	3. First Light

"Rush! Over here!" Selphie said loudly, waving her arms in the air. The crowd was deafening and oppressive; hundreds of SeeDs and cadets filled the hall. Selphie had a hard time even saving the seat next to her for Rush. 

Rush smiled in the direction of Selphie. She waved back, making her way progressively through the storm of people. Instructors were hard pressed to keep their students in line while SeeDs stood at attention around the hall. "I hate this uniform," she muttered to herself. She tugged at it, it was already beginning to wilt. She did not know why there was such a fuss about a visitor. Rumour had it that she was somebody very important, to SeeD and everything it represented. She was to make a speech and Rush found herself feeling uneasy despite everything. 

She gave a sigh as she slid in the seat next to Selphie. She felt vaguely sorry for those cadets who were still wandering around trying in vain to find unoccupied chairs. She smiled at Selphie who said, "What took you so long? It was hard keeping that seat for you. We're you brawling last night? Again?" Rush simply laughed. She flung her hair which fell luxuriously around her shoulders. She batted her eyes at Selphie. "Why would I do something like that? I was just catching up on some beauty sleep." 

Selphie jerked her thumb at Zell, "He does enough for the both of us…" 

Rush giggled. Zell had zero enthusiasm for anything that made him sit still or confined to one place. His head lolled to the side and his mouth was slightly open; and he snored softly.  He looked comical with his uniform, like a undisciplined soon – to – be SeeD candidate dropout. 

Rush felt a rush of affection for this boy. If anything, she owed him the life she was living now. 

            The room suddenly went very quiet. An escort of strange coloured guards entered and all heads turned. A young woman was in the midst of them. She dressed unremarkably, a clean – pressed white blouse and a longish skirt with a soft green shawl draped across her gently sloped shoulders. Her face was pretty in a gentle manner and she walked with grace. Rush stared at her; she looked very, _very familiar. __I've seen you somewhere…_

            Selphie in turned looked at Rush, she was sitting very still now which was out of character for her. Her face had turned grim and she looked confused. Rush Olsen was an exceptional student, intelligent and brave as well as a loyal friend. With her fragile memory problems she was torn between two distinct modes of behaviour. The strictly military and the wildly anti – authoritarian. Nevertheless, it was both Rush's and Selphie's impulsive behaviour that consequently made them friends from the word 'go'. 

            After a few moments had passed Rush let loose a long suppressed breath she did not realise she had been holding, she mentally gave herself a shake. She sensed Selphie's eyes on her, she had worried her. Rush lifted her head and gave Selphie a smile, then jabbed a finger into Zell's midsection making him jump half – way out of his seat with a loud: "What the – !" 

            It echoed throughout the silent hall, and the lady that had just cleared her throat at the microphone looked up in surprise then smiled. She gave an introduction, her voice was soft, yet powerful. Many found themselves listening to what she had to say. Rush found herself beginning to listen. The topic itself was strange: mystics and sorcery, though at the moment the speaker strayed from the topic. She seemed to be recalling something, all the while looking straight at Rush. 

            "Though evil can manifest itself within us and we can also carry it unknowingly, there are some things that can make it difficult for even the most powerful spells to work at its optimum." Rush felt her uneasiness begin to mount, she disliked this subject but it gave her the utmost feeling of enlightenment and she had no clue to why. 

            "A charm," Rush's fingers grasped the ring that hung from her necklace. "It can be as simple as a friendship band, a mother's gift, a loved ones possession. _A loved ones possession… Something that symbolises and weaves truth, love and purity; it is a great ward of evil for evil has no understanding of the simplicities of the human heart."_

            "It is there that evil lies and grows, where there is distrust, doubt and confusion. Do not let bonds between friends break or lovers grow apart for it is these ties between people that are most important." Selphie sneaked a look at Zell and Rush saw it with a look of amusement, she could have seen it coming. "The stronger is, of course, better. In your case, Seeds – trained to defeat magic and evil in Sorceresses, notice I do not say to battle the Sorceresses themselves. There is no room for mistrust, jealousy or even petty rivalry. Remember when I say that trust is essential, even when you feel hurt or betrayed."

            Rush wondered if the woman had come to speak personally to her, by the way she had her eyes placed on hers. Yet, she noticed that once in a while, her eyes would glaze – as if remembering something, a hard earned lesson she did not want others to have to go through. "Truth and Love come hand in hand, there is no one without the other. With the dawning of love, the truth will emerge. Love itself, a simple something to feel, is enough to clear clouded and doubtful minds and should it be pure enough, to break the most stunningly crafted illusions."

            The speaker gave a small laugh. "I make this sound simple, no? I will admit – yes, I once thought that there was nothing simple about love, but you all will see that when the time comes that there is nothing complicated about it at all; your emotions will guide you as steadily as a calligrapher graphs his art." She looked down into her hands, the act bellied her age and suddenly she looked very young and vulnerable. The ending of the speech was made hastily – and she left quickly, as if she was there to reply a short message. 

            The Instructors began to direct the orders to dismiss, the SeeDs standing ground until lower junior student and cadets could get out in an orderly manner. Selphie turned to Rush, "Me and Zell are heading to Quistis' dorm after this. I'll meet you in the training centre at noon, okay?" 

*          *          *

            Her twin daggers had served her well these two past years. Initially, she had specialized in a long ranged weapon called the 'pinwheel'. Later, she decided that long range fighting just wasn't her thing, she wanted something more direct, so that she could be in the battle itself – blood and steel mingling. The rush of heat in battle just wasn't there while you were shooting cover, Rush had reasoned with the weapons instructor. 

            Selphie still had not shown up for their practice. The field exam was tomorrow, Squad C would serve as backup reinforcement for SeeD infiltration of some shadowy illegal mess in Deling City. Cadets weren't told the details, they were just given orders. "Fifty – five… that's a lot of Grats… fifteen T-rex's…" Rush gritted her teeth. She had killed so many that she had so run and find them instead of them ambushing her. They would have to restock, definitely. "Enough… Cid will have my head for this, again…" 

            Rush didn't bother to change or bathe. She walked up, determinedly to the Instructors quarters. She slowed down when she reached the door. She heard voices coming from the inside. 

            "Quistis, it's been four years. You were the last person we expected to lose hope…" 

That was definitely Selphie's voice and she sounded distressed, which was rare for Selphie. She wondered what they talked about, it sounded more serious than 'chilling' in Quistis' room.  They had done it for as long as she had known them; they would always tell her where they were going when they were going, but they would never say exactly why nor would they ever invite her. She thought it best to leave them alone at these times as she was never asked. _Except for now… I just have to know…_

            Rush stood closer to the door, giving a quick glance to see if there was anyone standing in sight, who might see her eavesdrop, she was relived to see there weren't any. "I can't be doing this…" She said underneath her breath, "There's something going on, and I should know about it…" Rush turned her head to the side, closing the space between her and the door, battling her conscience all the way. She was surprised when she saw someone standing directly in front of her. Heat rushed to her face, and she quickly jumped away from the door.        

"It's been a while now, hasn't it? Do you still miss him?" Rush sucked in a breath, she pretended she didn't hear it as she looked at the young lady, putting on a false pretence of pleasantry. She didn't have to, for the lady spoke first. 

"I don't think you know my name…" 

_Huh?__ So what if I don't know her name? "I don't…" _

"I know… you weren't listening then." She was beautiful up close. Her skin was smooth and creamy, her brown eyes were warm and her lips faintly smiling. "When I agreed to make the speech for educational purposes on requests from your Headmaster… I didn't know I would find you here."

Rush simply looked confused. This person acted like she knew her. "Who are you?"

"My name is not important, but if you wish to know; it is Ellone. It was though seeking what I have sought that bought me here, the request was convenient. Yet, I have only half my answers."

"Why are you telling me this?" 

"Rush…" she gave a giggle, "We all have something that needs to be found. Why are you only wearing one earring?" 

"I… I lost the other during practice." Rush lied. Ellone seemed to pick up on it. "Oh, really? You are as lost as my brother…" _She's mad… Her brother?_

Rush stumbled on her words. "Ellone… what are you seeking?" 

"The same thing you seek…" There was no malice in her voice, her voice was just matter-of-fact like. She smiled as she said it. 

"I am not lacking anything…" Rush whispered, knowing it for a lie the moment she said it. To her surprise, Ellone reached up and tucked a stand of her hair behind her ears in a sisterly way. Rush was baffled, Ellone seemed to really care about her. Rush was not comfortable and she turned away slowly, not wanting to hurt her feelings. There was a muffled scream, and again she heard Quistis' voice, "Where the hell are you, Squall?"

Squall… Squall… Squall…

Rush turned around, suddenly hypnotised by the way Ellone steadily stared at her. Those eyes… they held answers, and images. The brown of her eyes exploded in a multitude of colour and as suddenly turned very dark. There was movement in the darkness, fumbling silently, never making a sound. A flicker of light and the small room lit up dimly. A young man sat slowly upon the pile of dirty mush that was his bed. His hair was matted and long, silky strands tied at the nape of his neck. His face was thin and his movement seemed to be from years of habit. 

A spark. He was sharpening something – a long sword, peculiar looking with a barrel instead of a handle or butt as swords usually have. He moved the stone across the edge, sharpening it. Steadily as his breathing, he continued to do this for a long time. Rush felt a stirring deep within her. _I know him… _

Finally, at long last he was done with the blade. He turned it, flexing his arm; admiring the way light glinted across its surface. There was an intricate carving upon it, a lion in flames. He gingerly touched the edge of the blade and immediately withdrew his finger, hissing in pain as the blade cut his skin, blood crept slowly from the incision and he studied it intently as it slowly ran down his finger. Rush must have made some small sound for suddenly he looked up directly at her. She gasped. _There is something here… let me touch this. This is the answer, this was the beginning of everything…_

Rush slowly reached toward him, unaware of the chasm she crossed. She needed to and she didn't know why. And he continued to stare. But slowly, very slowly he put down his blade. Time seemed to stretch as one movement he made took so slowly to accomplish. He stretched his arm toward her, seeking something in the darkness. Rush suddenly dropped her hand, a stinging pain burst in her head; something akin to keening could be heard, it made her head spin and Rush knew, really knew pain. Rush knew agony. 

She staggered back, weakly. She swore she could see stars as the hallway expanded and shrunk. Ellone was not far, she swung for a few seconds before regaining her footage. "That was not expected, what power could disconnect me?" Ellone said under her breath. Rush sat down with a thump against the door, cradling her head in her hands. The voices on the other side ceased immediately. Rush felt something moist press against her cheek. _Ellone… she kissed me?_

 "Be careful, Rinoa Caraway." The voice came softly behind her, it was said in a tone of a warning – a plead for caution. 

Her head made contact with the floor. She stared uncomprehendingly at three pairs of hardened polished boots. Rolling her head upwards, she saw three worried faces staring down at her. Their faces were one and sometimes two, if she wasn't in so much pain she would have laughed at the image. The darkness took over and she could hear panicked voices distantly. So far…

"Rush!" Quistis yelled, "What's wrong with you?" She attempted to shake the limp girl to awareness. Selphie bent down towards her, taking a hand and holding it with hers. Giving it a light squeeze she felt Rush's forehead, it was clammy and very, very hot. 

"Zell! You've got to carry her to the infirmary, now!" Selphie cried, she had no idea what was going on. Something strange definitely. She felt a pang of guilt twist her heart, she was to have met her at the Training Centre and she had not come. Had Rush somehow been thoroughly poisoned for a length of time? Was she injured internally? Damned! 

            But Zell was already picking Rush up, "You don't have to tell me twice!" He cradled her gently but firmly as he carried her as fast as he could. "Hang on, Rush…" 

*          *          *

He stared as he had stared for the past hour. The darkness was overwhelming, he hoped a light would shine – as it did just then. His eyes never wavered, maybe… he thought, maybe it will reappear and someone would save him. Reach down to his rotten self and cleanse him. Rid him of the filth that he carried, that he lived with. That he could not live without. 

For the first time since he could remember. He prayed. He did not know to whom and he did not know how but he prayed with all his heart that he could see an angel again. 


	4. Capture

            "My only hope was this: To see what might be, to believe that it should be, and then to do all I could to bring it to pass, whatever the cost."  
'Orson Scott Card, _Treason__'_

            Selphie sniffed. She wasn't crying, her eyes were not watering but she had never felt so low in her life. Rush hadn't moved from where they had lain her and Dr. Kadowaki was at odds ends trying to find out what exactly was wrong. From a physical and pathological point, Rush was fine; her temperature had zeroed down and then stabled, but she was not waking up.  

            Zell stood in the doorway, thinking deeply. He was standing still and quiet, traits that weren't his. He felt as troubled at Selphie. Their SeeD candidate exam was tomorrow and Rush was their Squad Leader, this was certainly going to bring her qualifying grade down if she failed to take it. He looked on with sombre eyes, it wasn't a happy scene. It didn't have a serious air about it, certainly – but it was strange. Quistis rubbed her eyes. "I'd better make some backup plan, or something… arrangements. Maybe a replacement from a later exam batch…"

            Zell spoke up, "She'd hate that, Instructor." 

            Quistis sighed, "I know…" They continued to wait. Rush looked like a doll, her dark hair spread across the pillow and she wore a confused expression, as if her own condition surprised her. Once in a while, Selphie would attempt to brush some stray hairs from her face, and Rush would always violently jerk away from the touch. Rush was living in a dream state, partly awake. She wanted to sink down as far as possible into herself, to find those pieces that just weren't there. 

            It was not long before they began to talk.

            "We still don't know where he went that night. The warden only records times of leaving and entering, not where students go." Zell said. "Of course the next morning we immediately noticed he was missing, but Garden only wrote him off as a dropout." 

            "Squall… dropout? He would never do that." Selphie fumed. 

            "I don't think Squall knows… ever knew that we cared for him, as friends…" Quistis said softly, "As family…"  

            Selphie sniffed again, "We have to find him…"

            "But how?! We've been at it for four years!" Zell shouted. Quistis raised a hand, "Guys, this certainly isn't the place to argue. Talk softly, that's an order."

            _Four years… years… is that how long I've been lying here? It certainly seems like it… Why are they yelling? Noisy… I am dreaming. I've been dreaming. This is all a dream. _

"I've an inkling," Zell said suddenly. "But, I admit it's not a good one. Rush has the room Squall once had –"

            "Wait – up, are you saying this has something to do with Rush?" Selphie looked down at the still figure, "I can't believe that…" Zell punched the air irritably, "Did you hear me say  that I was finished?!"

            "I didn't mean that at all… what about all his stuff? What did the faculty do with it? Maybe there's a clue or something in his belongings, never know right?" 

            Quistis looked up, "Usually when a SeeD has resigned… or died; belongings are usually taken to closest family. In Squall's case, he's just like us… orphans. I'll have to ask Xu or someone working in administration about that."

            "We're orphans, Quistis." Selphie said, stressing on the 'we're' and pointing in a circle at herself, Quistis and Zell; "And so is Squall… but Rush has a problem or something with memory. Isn't that right, Zell? You bought her here because she was lost up in her head, and had no where to go… like us, just not quite so. She seems happy enough having the life she's living now, but sometimes she gets weird. She might have a family out there, but she can't remember them." 

            "I agree with you there, but she's not a bad sort for all the discipline scrapes." Quistis said. "Oh, will you not bring up discipline! Of all things…" Selphie cried. 

            They all ceased to talk when Selphie gave a small shout. "My hand! She's squeezing it so damn hard, it seriously hurts… but she's coming 'round!" Zell laughed at the colour Selphie was turning from withstanding the crushing grip Rush had on her. "Not funny, Zell." Selphie grinded out. Quistis looked on curiously. "Dr. Kadowaki! Over here!" She called. 

            In a few moments the stout doctor was standing by her ward. "Strange… I'll say it again, I have no idea what was wrong in the first place. She is perfectly fine."

            Selphie sighed heavily. "She can't be fine if she's like this, Doc." Dr. Kadowaki shrugged her shoulders. "We'll just wait until she wakes up." 

            Suddenly Rush jerked up from the bed, sitting upright and panting heavily. "Looks like we didn't have to wait long," Dr. Kadowaki said with a smile, "How are you feeling, Rush?" Rush stared around her, detangling her hand from Selphie's gently, she said breathlessly, "I had a really weird dream… why am I in the infirmary?"

            "You fainted, that's why." Came Quistis' reply. "Let me check her." Dr. Kadowaki said, fixing her stethoscope. Rush looked heavenward and resigned herself to be 'checked' upon. "What on earth _is wrong with you? The only thing I can find 'wrong', is that there is _nothing _wrong!" Selphie began to giggle as Dr. Kadowaki pinched Rush's cheeks before leaving. _

            "So… want to tell us what happened?" Quistis asked. 

            "I have a question first," Rush said, "Who is Rinoa Caraway?" __

            "What are you talking about? What made you ask that?" Quistis was quick to reply.            "I… I had a strange dream. That Ellone…" Rush said, weakly. Quistis looked at her like she was crazy. Zell bounded into the room from the doorway. Rush swore she could almost _see _an exclamation sign bouncing atop his blond head. 

            "Wait – up! I remember the name Caraway, though. He's some important personage from Galbadia… right?" Zell asked, wanting to confirm it with someone. 

            "Our SeeD exam is in Galbadia," Selphie supplied, "Maybe we'll find something there, or someone who knows. Quistis, you're with SeeD intelligence; why don't you dig up something on it? We should go now, Rush – you should rest." 

            "Rest?!" Rush quickly stood up, flexing her arms. "I don't need it, I feel fine… believe me." Selphie pulled her into a tight, squeezing embrace. "I'm so, so sorry I didn't come one time! I'm relieved to hear you sound so… yourself." Rush awkwardly patted her on the back, remembering the training centre, and eaves – dropping. Selphie released her and skipped out the door, dragging Zell with her by a head – lock. Rush laughed as Zell mouthed to her: help; pointing to his throat to indicate that he couldn't breathe.  She turned to see Quistis' blue eyes, burn into hers, but not unkindly. "Rush, we meet up at dawn tomorrow. Remember your uniform, I won't excuse you from it this time. It is a proper SeeD exam. The briefing will take place on our way there. Don't be late." 

            Rush nodded, "I won't be," and Quistis left, disbelieving. Rush sat on the bed for a few minutes, before rushing out the door to her dorm. _I'll show them what I've got!_

            "So… what's our mission objective?" 

            "We need to make visual confirmation for the Galbadian Government of a new threat, dubbed 'Griever'. They are a very well equipped team, capable of almost anything. This mission has come with a very large payment, personally from the Countess herself, as she feels concerned for her citizens." Xu cleared her throat.

            "We have three strike teams, for deployment and bait; and two undercover ones. Each of your teams will be accompanied by trained SeeDs to do the job if you fail. Failure of this mission also means failure to become a SeeD. I will be accompanying strike teams A to C. Instructor Trepe will be overseeing sneak teams A and B."

            Zell tugged nervously at his uniform. Quistis gave him a reassuring smile before she continued. "Well, those are your orders. Prepare and wait for the signal."

*          *          *

            "Why aren't we being signalled? There's something fishy going on." Selphie said.

            "Yeah…  we're already supposed to be at out designated checkpoint." Zell added. Rush quickly shushed them. "Quiet! There's something going on. I think all strike teams are out – you've got new orders."

            "What?! From who?" Selphie groaned at the sight of mischief on Rush's face. "From me – squad members follow squad leader, remember? And anyway, this SeeD exam is really boring. We really should go out and get some." 

            This time is was Zell who shushed her to Rush's surprise. "Listen!" And they all quietened down and listened intently. "I hear it… but it sounds like major combat sounds, wasn't it just supposed to be a small but violent distraction? To let us sneak past? That sounds almost like a war holocaust!"

            Sweat beaded on Xu's hairline, this was not going well. Three of her students were down, most probably dead and the enemy were better, much better than any intelligence could have given justice to. "Damn! Where's reinforcements?!" She yelled to no one in particular, between dodging, giving her own and trying her best to protect the SeeD candidates that had fallen, she was hard pressed to keep going. "They knew…"  

*          *          *

            "Come back! Or I'll have you in the brig for insubordination!" The elder SeeD called out to Rush who was already running fast towards the action. 

            "Don't bother! We stay… if orders come, we'll deal with it." The other two SeeDs nodded at the others suggestion. "Let her disobey orders, they are giving up their own SeeD titles." 

            "We're not going to interfere… just peek," Rush said, her wide grin already revealing what her 'peek' actually meant. She leapt over the wall that had covered them, rushing towards the noises, most of the SeeD exam candidates followed right at her heels, wanting a piece of the action. 

            Selphie sighed loudly, "She's going to get us all landed in the brig…" She patted Zell's shoulder comfortingly before letting loose a war cry that left the older SeeDs shocked, with their hands over their ears, "BOO – YAKA! All enemies cower in fear!" Zell shook his head, staring in surprise at the slight girl who ran like a shadow in the dark, her grin could be seen for miles, he thought. 

            Well, Zell thought – what the heck; a SeeD who had been watching him wearily saw the look of wilful anticipation of battle quickly said, "Get back here, cadet! Do not desert post! You'll face severe punishment from the faculty and possible dismissal from Garden itself!" 

            Zell shook his head in resignation. "Then you'd better draw up papers on me too!" Jumping over and running full speed towards his friends, ignoring their outcries.

*          *          *

            "Xu! Do you copy?! You're to get the sneak team C to back you up, they should be in position and close by." The voice cackled through the radio strapped to her hip. With a smooth motion of her hand she switched her radio on to pant out, "Sneak squad! We need backup, now!" 

"Huh?! What do you mean they've deserted post?!" Xu could not believe it. For the first time, a cadet had actually given up SeeD – ship. It had never happened before. She barely deflected a blow as her offenders blade sliced air with a swoosh seconds where her head had been. She did not know a blade from another was held high from behind her, dramatically waiting for her to turn around and receive it's deathly blow. A swift movement, and she turned around too late.

            But in time to see the expression of shock and apology imprinted upon a dark clad figure before it toppled to her feet. She looked up to see several cadets lined up in battle position; and the strangest thing to Xu was that they were being _commanded _by another cadet. Steel glinted at their leaders wrists as she brought up twin daggers in a battle stance and the rest followed suite – a giant nunchaku, deathly spiked gloves among others.            

            Rush ducked a swung weapon, that, had it hit, would have certainly cleaved her head clean off her shoulders. She kicked a roundhouse catching the figure swiftly on the chin, making him tumble over. She quickly looked around her, Zell and Selphie were there, disposing of the few remaining attackers. "Five! Beat that!" Selphie's voice carried over, Rush let loose a short laugh as she heard Zell say with less enthusiasm, "Two…" She turned and saw Xu, barely dodging a frenzied attack. 

            "Selphie! There!" Rush motioned with her hand to Xu. There was a swift sound of moving metal and a sharp thump as the nunchaku made contact with skull. Xu stood up, panting. "You will all be given new orders from now, from me. We must hurry – it seems we have a traitor in our midst's. We have to find a place to regroup and organize a new plan, failure is not an option in SeeD – you cadets know that. Follow me." 

            Rush gasped. A swift movement from behind Xu… and then Selphie and Zell. She turned around daggers up, in battle stance. _We're surrounded..._

The sound of metal unsheathing came swiftly after. Each found themselves looking down upon a barred blade, feeling it press against their necks. A lone figure strode into the scene. He wore strange attire and with his presence came the feeling of fear amongst the cadets. His cape was long and almost brushed the ground when he moved – and he moved like a stalking predator, stealthily and quickly. Green eyes peered at the group from behind the shrouded veil. He moved from one person to another, scrutinizing them. Rush felt her heart stop beating when he positioned himself in front of her and did not budge. "Well now, Cadet '_Olsen'. I have need to speak with you. Alone." _

            He glanced at the group around them, and nodded curtly. Sword hilts were drawn and unmercifully bought down upon the heads of the remaining SeeD. "No…" Rush made a small move toward them, then abruptly stopped; feeling the blade press harder, the prick. She could almost taste her blood as it ran down her neck in a slow trickle. "Please stay still." The man said breezily, walking past her and disappearing into the night. Rush then felt a burning, hot pain as her vision swam in pools of black and fell into it. Rough arms grabbed her and she vaguely felt herself hoisted and carried…

*          *          *

_            Salty… bitter! What the – ?! _

            The man stood over, silently observing his trusted right hand man slowly bringing Rush around with salted bread and vinegar. She vaguely stirred. "They must have hit her pretty hard." She said, still dripping small amounts into her mouth. 

"She's arousing. That's good. How long before Edea knows?" 

            "Not long, SeeD are quite competent – I expect they will dispatch another team before they report failure of any sort to Edea." The woman brushed back blond locks that had strayed across her face, her blue eyes steady upon her leaders'. "Seifer, you know something." It wasn't statement and it firmly implanted a question within her tone. 

            "Yes… I do." Was all he said, his back still turned against her; when Rush suddenly started drowsily awakening, spitting and coughing.   

            "Quistis, leave us. Nothing good will come if she recognizes you."

            She gave him a long glare before complying. When she was out of the room, Seifer bent down towards Rush to help her get up. Rush weakly declined his help before standing up, wavering as she stood. The floor seemed to rise up and hit her head and she quickly sat back down as quickly as she had stood. "Where is my unit?" Rush asked, her voice weak and thin. She sat up straighter, "What have you done with them?" her voice firmer this time. "Seifer?" Rush shook her head, it was too dark to confirm her fear, she hastily quietened down I hope her last question would trail off, unheard. 

            "I speak with his voice – yes."

            It was damp and dark where they had set her, arms and legs tied firmly. She could hardly see the outlines of the room, never mind the face inside the folded fabric of this man's hood. "Who are you?" 

            "I don't think you're in any position to be asking any questions. Let's just say, I know some things – but I think you know more than you realise. Four years! Four years… I have been tracking a man. A man you cast your spell and cruel fate upon. Yes! Rinoa Caraway… I know you; and your part in his disappearance." 

            _Who the hell is Rinoa Caraway?! Is this guy for real, or is he just a little touched in the head? Wait up – Ellone. She also called me that…_

"What are you talking about?" Rush's eyes darted desperately, seeking an escape; she found none. 

            "Don't act stupid! I've been hunted for a long while for what I know… but I know what I know because of whom I was hunting in the first place. The hunter turned hunted… sad, isn't it?" 

            "But - " Rush started. Something was terribly wrong here, where was Xu? Dead? Her squad members? And why was this guy speaking in riddles?! "Why are you keeping me here?"

            "Time is of the essence, _Caraway!_ Soon Edea's own Galbadian troops will come… You would do well to know what and who you are fighting against." His voice had lowered to a mere whisper. "Squall Leonhart." He glared down at her, reaching out a hand to grab the front of her collar, roughly shaking her to emphasize his menace. "I need to know his whereabouts!" 

            _That name… Squall… it triggers the most unusual feelings and memories, I feel like I have memories when I hear that name… Rush briefly closed her eyes, momentarily sad. "I don't know anything. I don't even know _me_, what could I possibly tell you?"_

            The man glared down at her. She could see him now, mad electric green eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. He suddenly growled at the sounds of someone approaching the door. "Quistis! Don't disobey me!"

            Rush's head snapped up. _Did he just yell 'Quistis'… !?_ They both turned at the sound of the door creaking open. A tall man strode inside, he was fitted with a long beige trench coat that went almost past his knees. He was chewing on a long piece of grass, "Seifer, something's up. Most of our lads back guarding back pass are missing. I've scouted the area, and it's dead quiet – couldn't find anything amiss… save the body's of Jack and Scout." Seifer gave a loud snarl and hastened to get up.

Irvine looked grim under the scarce lighting. Whoever had dispatched the back pass watch had chosen poor targets. Jack and Scout were both still dubbed 'rookies' in Seifer's pack. Seifer personally trained them, as they were promising students; enthusiastic and loyal to Seifer's cause. Irvine inwardly chuckled, _whatever Seifer's cause is… _But they were good lads, easily excited with their first official duty as a proper member, trainee no longer – able to use the swords and guns to kill besides train. And now they were dead. Irvine had known them well during his few weeks stay with the group and felt something missing inside him, where their laughter should have rang, their gruesome talk of women and their jokes. They were good boys, that would have been good men. He held out his hand to momentarily stop Seifer who was proceeding outside in hasty strides.    

 "Boss, it looks professional. Be careful." Seifer barely nodded. He slammed the door hard behind him, the sound of his Hyperion unsheathing echoed through the small room. 

Rush stared warily at this new captor. His eyes did not seem dangerous, certainly not as mad as Seifer's. He did not seem so interested in her as he did his current surroundings, taking in every detail of the room form top to bottom. He walked to a dark corner of the room, he ducked his head, tipping the hat over his eyes as he proceeded to unzipping his trousers. Rush averted her eyes, disgusted. However, he surprised her by speaking. 

"Our conversation is being monitored. Listen carefully." 


	5. Contact

            Rush sat quietly upon the dirty floor, she really didn't have much choice in the matter. Her despair, which had been steadily increasing momentarily lessened. Her wrists hurt from being bound so tight, her bottom aching from sitting on the cold hard floor so long, her head still pounding from the blow that initially knocked her out. Her emotions were wrecking havoc within her; there was something to be found, her heart yearned toward it even if her mind could not comprehend it. 

            Rush suddenly felt irritable. He had known that she had no choice. She hadn't the choice when he had told her to listen carefully, nor had she the choice to do other than what he had told her. He stood now, one leg crossed over the other with his arms folded across his chest; to anyone who walked in at the moment, he would have looked the epitome of a lazy but deadly guard.  

            A slight tapping of his foot brought Rush fully alert. It was the sign. The door flew open then, and Seifer flew in; he was trembling with rage and breathing heavily; his eyes locked with Rush's. He looked at her with undisguised hatred and with a sudden jerk of his hand backward he aimed the punch of a man consumed with anger beyond rational thought. Though Rush saw it coming, she made no move to avoid it – she wanted to feel the sting of his hand, the pain made real for the dull ache in her heart. 

            Then Seifer suddenly stopped, actually jerked backward; his face changed to an apologetic one: his mouth half – open and eyes confused upon hers. He unceremoniously slumped to the ground at her feet. Behind him, the man with the hat grinned, and slid back the small baton into his inner coat pocket. Rush was shaking slightly, looking at the unmoving figure at her feet she felt a hatred course through her, she pulled both feet upwards and aimed a unrestrained, vicious kick at it's head. Cursing under her breath, she rained blow upon blow on his body. Hands and feet still tied she hissed angrily when a firm grip tightened upon her arm. Frustrated and angry, she threw a punch but failed miserably when the man swiftly moved out of her way, she lost her balance and fell clumsily down to her original sitting position. 

            "_Who are you,_ anyway?" 

            "Ouch… that must hurt…" The man looked over at the fallen Seifer, ignoring her question for the moment. Rush stood up to him summoning up the courage to look threatening in front of a man who probably outweighed her by three. 

            The man was good – looking, with long brown hair and eyes that sparkled with mischief. "Irvine, _darlin__'..." _

            "Who sent you?... Why did you come?" Rush felt like she wanted to ask a million questions, yet – she did not know for sure if she could trust this Irvine. She sighed in frustration and pushed her tied wrists toward him, "Untie me!" 

            He chuckled, and was ungentle while untying her hands causing her to wriggle and grunt. When she was free, she checked her herself for broken bones or deep cuts. She had no broken bones but she could feel the matted blood that had somewhat dried on her hair from the blow that had initially knocked her out. 

            The man suddenly spoke up, his voice loud in the silence of the room. "We need to get out of here, quickly." He bent down and arranged Seifer into a sitting position, a semblance of a drunkard; to add effect, he placed an empty beer bottle near the limp hand. Rush nodded and then to her surprise the door was thrown wide open as Selphie, Zell and two of her squad mates rushed in. Irvine turned just in time to see a small fist coming straight at his face. He barely had the time to blink, the hand made contact and he was thrown to the floor by the force of it. He rolled over, disoriented; staring at a face – large green eyes, albeit narrowed and had it not been scowling, it would have been a very pretty face. "Cute…" he managed to mumble before his vision swam and he lost consciousness. 

            Rush tried to stand. She faltered as the for short moments, the room turning in circles around her. She felt a warm arm encircle her waist, steadying her. "Can you stand?" Zell asked her worriedly. She gripped his arm, supporting some of her weight upon it while waiting for the dizziness to pass. Selphie was rearranging Irvine's body to sit next to Seifer, giggling a little when she placed one arm around the other stationary man's neck. Rush smiled, they really did look like two passed out bums. On the other hand, Zell watched her with relief. He had eyed her with anger brewing, the cut made to her scalp was certainly deep; although she had waved his concern away over it, Zell decided that a trip to the infirmary was definitely in the cards for her – even if he had to carry her there, kicking and screaming. 

            A scuffle of footsteps made the three jump. Rush nodded to Zell to indicate she could stand and he reluctantly released his hold upon her. Selphie whispered, "Let's go, me and Zell found a back pass through one of the smaller sewers," she tiptoed to the door and checked to see if the coast was clear. She nodded sharply and began to move down the dark hall. "What is this place?" Selphie asked under her breath. Both Zell and Rush shrugged their shoulders. 

            "Hey! You there!" 

            Footsteps boomed down the corridor. Selphie turned to Zell and Rush with a panicked but excited look upon her face. "Run!" Selphie began to sprint down the hallways, Zell and Rush following close to her heels. The chase seemed endless, the men were almost a match for them, more than once nearly closing the distance between them. 

            Her feet gained a steady rhythm. They had turned a corner and they could hear from the voices that echoed, that the men pursuing them were momentarily confused and unsure which direction to follow. Rush breathed in deeply and attempted to clear her mind. Selphie was distressed, "I can't remember the way! It was such a maze to get here… if I could find the opening gate!" Zell shook his head, navigation was just not his thing. 

            _Visions.__ Swimming… this place, holds memories I cannot place… I remember… I remember… _

She felt like she was two different people at once. It was unnerving and strange. Rush looked around, to her horror Selphie and Zell weren't there. She ran her fingers through her hair, shocked again with it's length; it was short, cut bluntly at shoulder level. 

Voices… _Time shifts…_

"Just follow me!" She heard her voice echo somewhere. She saw herself, jumping in a sewer hole, reaching hands out to a shy – faced brown haired boy. "Come on! Trust me…" 

Rush started. Selphie and Zell, along with the two other cadets were staring at her oddly. "What?" 

"You were off in this trance… you didn't hear anything I said, did you?" Selphie asked softly though her tone was clipped, keeping her voice low. Rush looked back at Selphie, locking her eyes with the green ones that stared back steadily at her. "If I told you I knew the way to a temporary safe hiding place, would you believe me?" 

One of the cadets spoke up, "How could you know? You're just like us! This is our first time in a city, we've never been anywhere but Balamb! We're islanders!"

Rush looked quickly over to the person who spoke, she was a islander all right – down to her pigtails and pert look. They hadn't the time to answer Rush's questions, they were quickly being found, the sounds of their voices carrying across amplifying corridors. Shouts and orders were heard, they all jumped. Rush began to run in a direction. They all ran, this time she was without doubt. She ran swiftly, Selphie and Zell close at her heels; their trust in her absolute. She knew the way, somehow she had always known the way… 

Her chest heaved, her head swam… there was something very wrong with this, not only wrong but also illogical. "But if it will save us, I'll just go there…" Rush muttered to herself. "We should be save here," she said, pointing up a somewhat hidden staircase. "They shouldn't find us if we're very quiet for a while…" Selphie nodded emphatically. They all hastened to follow her up. 

"Ouch!" 

"What?" Selphie hissed, looking down past the darkness to find Zell's face.

"You kicked my head!" 

"I did not!" 

"You did so! Why have we stopped?" Zell asked, facing downward, both wanting and not wanting to look up at the appealing underneath of Selphie's short SeeD uniform skirt.

Selphie didn't answer, she was getting worried about Rush. For Rush had suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere; now she and the rest were all dangling on the ladder, waiting for her to climb higher. She called Rush's name a few times, and felt an eerie feeling that Rush simply wasn't there in the mind. 

"She's right…" Rush breathed. "I am… here?" _Memories?_ My memories? That boy… that girl. Is that me? Hush! Just listen! _ _

"Up there?" The boy was young, cute for a youngster… looked like one of the better looking junior students. His incredulous face was watching the girls intently, immersed in her. The dark hair swung in her eyes, excitement making them luminous. She answered, 

"Yup. Quickly though, the last bout of fireworks is about to go off." 

The scrambling of feet, the clanking of his boots upon the stairs winding upward… upward into the distance until they faded. With that, the memory faded and Rush became aware of the insistent Selphie calling her name again and again. 

"Yes, Selphie." Rush automatically said, climbing again. Selphie was dumbstruck, since when had she been so formal? 

The clanking of SeeD boots had Rush's mind churning. That noise was making her nostalgic inside somehow, the grip of a memory that would not release itself. 

She cleared the stairs, and pushed awkwardly at a metal frame that covered the entrance. The piece gave way quite easily and with minimum noise, sliding away to reveal a room filled with machinery, obviously unused over time; dusty and rusted. There was an odd pile of… something, and few pieces of old, dirty clothes were hanging around here and there.  

She nodded to Selphie below her and pulled herself through. She gave a loud sigh upon entering, not noticing a figure crouched nearby, but hidden in the shadows; in battle stance in the darkness. Selphie's head popped through, "Cool! Like a hidey – hole!" Her eyes gleamed, any thought of adventure excited her, but all further thought vanished as she saw – and screamed. 

Rush turned around, barely in time to save her neck from being sliced in two. She brought up her weapons, more suited to attacks in close quarters. The attacker's eyes never left hers. Rush gasped, "It's _you!" _

He quickly unsheathed a peculiar looking weapon. A long sword... not unlike something she had seen just early yesterday! _What did Ellone make me see? It'shim from the vision!  Her eyes widened in surprise as he moved in on her, quick and smooth – like a cat stalking its prey.    _

They both moved like dancers, deadly grace and precision equally matched. Each dodging the others every move, anticipating and knowing. They stopped, each acting defense for a fragment of a moment. 

"Selphie, back!" Rush yelled, Selphie immediately saw the wisdom in it, though she could not stop staring at the youngish attacker who seemed like he had no disregard for his own safety in his offenses. She quickly issued orders to Zell and the two other rookies and quickly said a prayer for luck while surveying the tight space where her friend and the mysterious attacker were furiously dueling, before jumping down the ladder to wait.  

His eyes were feral, they glared at her through eyes that lacked a thousand years sleep. The icy blue of them seemed to glow as they watched her, only her and the movement that she made. And he wore only black, a single earring at his left ear – it gleamed lightly in the darkness, almost not visible for his longish brown hair that fell above it. Why does this feel so 'wrong' somehow? He thought, this was _his place – the only place he could call his own, to lurk and think about his failures and the life he could not remember, the place where he drowned in sorrow and gained strength from the memories that flowed from the place itself. The only place where 'she' could not call or summon his attendance. And now this... girl, had come. His instincts told him to kill, to annihilate, anyone or anything that trespassed this sacred place; but for some reason he could not understand, his mind was not game. _

_Intruder, you will pay... _

At one moment, Rush had looked past the disheveled appearance, past the longish bangs and into his eyes. What she saw there, she herself felt that she would never understand. He stared back, though both were edged for battle, his eyes looked old and wild, ringed with red and full of rage. But she felt none of that hatred, it was not for her! Her mind exploded with images, she felt herself grow less inclined to battle, for in that one moment, she saw herself, as a girl... in his eyes. 

He took that momentary lack of concentration to hone in for a kill. _Kill? _He found himself raising the butt of his weapon instead, striking her full on the head before vanishing silently out through the open space in the wall which overlooked the city gates. 

*           *           *

Selphie's eyes were wide and round, staring up at the small trapdoor that led to the room that had just suddenly gone silent. She motioned to Zell, and with fear in her voice she said, "Should we go in?" 

Rush raised herself, wobbling terribly at the knees and with the taste of street dirt in her mouth. He could have killed me! There and then, he had the opening! Rush shook her head, she could think of that later. She had to get back somehow, to Garden... but that was far, too far. She had to think quickly...  

The loud noise of the trapdoor opening made Rush's head swim and ache with pain. She held her head tenderly as Selphie rushed to her, swearing under her breath at the second lump in one night already swelling on her friend's head. Zell quickly did a roundabout check, not wanting anything to happen twice. 

Rush made a feeble sound, her voice croaking, "Guys, we need to get to Galbadia Garden..." 

One of the squad members gasped, "But why? Why not take a train and leave for Balamb? Wouldn't it be best to report today's failure?"

"We're obviously not dealing with any tom, dick kind of organisation. They're trained and skilled... and we've been betrayed, by one of us." Rush said slowly, thoughtfully. "And anyway, in the course of heading to Balamb right now, would be out of the question, as we are hunted by those who would see us dead at any cost," she blew out a breath, "But I can't figure out for the life of me why..." 

"In the course of one's inability to report his case to his respective Garden, a report should be made to the nearest one," Selphie softly recited. "Well, what are we waiting for? But how are we going to get there?" 

Rush gave herself a mental shake, wondering if she was going mad. "I know the way..." 

_I do know the way... I'll ask myself how later, when we get through this... and I'm feeling alive, and me – not me wandering  in someone else's dream..._

"Rush... how do – " Zell started to ask, but then stopped. She had kept them safe so far, hadn't she? He trusted her with his life if it came to it. He briefly thought of the girl who had arrived from Galbadia to Balamb that day four years ago, at the train station – with no baggage or memory, just the same ridiculously short repeated story of her vacation with her Aunt Elena in Deling City. Zell shrugged, they were in Deling City right now, weren't they? Maybe that's how she knew... he would ask her later, but for now, they would all have to trust her. 


	6. Strike

            Rush wrinkled her brow, "We're not going to get far dressed like pansy cadets." She wryly stated. "We need a change of attire." Selphie gave a laugh and said, "But Zell likes them, said they make him look '_manly', I believe was the term he used." _

            Zell jokingly puffed up his chest, and was about to flex his muscles had Selphie not punched him in the stomach first, he winced from the soft blow while she laughed, "Just then you looked like an idiot rooster getting ready to crow! I saved you the embarrassment." Zell swung a lazy backhand, with a  sarcastic ha-ha. Selphie giggled while she easily dodged the arm. 

            They were still walking the sewers, Rush seemed to walk as if she knew them by the back of her hand. Her other two squad members had no objection, for as long as they were out of danger, they were indebted to her. Rush was thinking quietly, about everything. 

            __

_            "Squall Leonhart." He glared down at her, reaching out a hand to grab the front of her collar, roughly shaking her to emphasize his menace. "I need to know his whereabouts!"_

            "And... he too called me Caraway..." Rush quietly mused to herself. "Why would he think _I _knowing anything about his whereabouts?" There was something wrong with her returning to Deling City, she felt that she should have never come. The mystifying feeling she had felt when she had looked into that attackers eyes, the sinking and overwhelming rush of memories she could not remember had her feeling sour. She briefly heard the bickering beside her. Zell had tripped Selphie, or something like that... 

            She turned to face them, her eyes grave. They took one look at her face and their light humour vanished. Zell took her arm, "What's wrong?" 

            "Who is Squall Leonhart?" Rush asked, trying to keep steady from the burst of feeling that flood through her at just the mention of his name. Beside her, Selphie gasped in surprise before her face clouded in grief, Zell quickly turned pale. Noting their reactions, Rush quickly said, "You know him..." Selphie miserably nodded, but it was Zell who asked, "Why did you suddenly ask that? How could you know about him?" 

            Rush was quiet for a while, turning around and starting to walk slowly again. So they knew him... _Is he dead? Is that why they had looked so grieved? _What had her capturer been called? What had the woman called him? Seifer... 

            "What about someone called Seifer?" At the mention of that name, the hatred came swiftly. The narrowed eyes and downward turning mouths. Selphie spoke, "Um, yeah... we knew him too. He was a student at our Garden, but dropped out shortly after you came." Selphie's pink lips opened, to question Rush but Rush had already raised her hand. "Ask me later, when we're nice and dry in some coach on a train to Balamb, just one thing – don't mention any of this to Quistis, promise me." 

            "Why - ?" 

            "Just promise!" 

            Zell shrugged, "Okay, promise..." 

            "You too, Selphie." The small girl nodded. For Selphie, there was no question there, between Quistis and Rush there was no doubt whatsoever. 

            Rush inwardly groaned, this was turning into an unravelling of the whereabouts of missing persons. Rinoa Caraway, Squall Leonhart and Seifer...

            "It's here, up there." Rush pointed. There was a trapdoor over a sewer hole. "Zell, think you can manage that?" 

            "Yup, leave it to me." Zell said before proceeding up the ladder to push the trapdoor upwards, to slide it open. "It's as hard as – " Zell gave a grunt before trying again. He tried numerous ways of loosening the door, using shoves and punches. The trapdoor remained shut tight. Sweat already poured down the sides of his face. Already at the brink of saying that it couldn't be opened, his pride kept him hammering at it. 

            "For goodness's sake, Zell. Just use your limit break! I bet even my grandma could open that with one hand!" Selphie shouted upwards. 

            "Goddamn, Selphie! How long do you think this thing has been shut?" Zell gritted out. 

            "Awwh, someone's not capable!" Came the singsong voice. 

            "Shut up, Selphie!" Zell said, loosing his temper, punctuating each word with a furious blow to the trapdoor. "You! – think that this – is – whoa!" Zell almost lost his grip on the ladder, then when he looked up again, he gave a small knowing laugh. Selphie knew how to press the right buttons alright. "Hey guys, it's open!"

            Rush gave a laugh. "What are you all waiting for? Let's go!"

            "Ahh, fresh air! I wouldn't want to know what I smell like right now." Selphie said, looking dismayed at the muck upon her uniform, especially her boots. 

            "I'll tell you what you smell like..." Zell started, "But you smell the same!" Selphie yelled back. 

            "Alright, enough you two!" Rush hissed; although amused by the banter, she was not in a good mood. Get through this, and then bicker. "Selphie can you pick the lock?" 

            "Aye – aye, capt'n!" Selphie bounded over to the door. Fiddling around in her pockets to take out her picklock kit. One of the other cadets had a look of mild surprise on his face. Those things were not allowed in Garden and were considered immoral and not honourable for a SeeD or student to carry around. But then, he shrugged; this was not a night to be questioning, he was glad to be under Rush's leadership – she had kept them alive and had shown her knack for it. Zell and Selphie, although students just as him and the other girl with them, had shown none of the clumsy, tumbling actions of students during apt exam. They were all exceptional, and bore up under the pressure and deserved more than anyone to become SeeD's. It was a pity they would probably fail this final exam because of the confusion and slaughter – no SeeD final exam had been like this, he was sure. There was betrayal somewhere at hand. 

            They had walked to a deserted part of town, the night was still cool and there were no passer – bys. 'Clothes Store' Rush read out, then snorted. No wonder no one wanted to shop here, the name was as unoriginal as any she had ever seen. They would have a change of clothes, then take a train to Galbadia Garden. 

            Selphie worked efficiently at the lock, it was only a few seconds before they all heard an audible 'click'. A grinning Selphie looked up, "Done!" 

            "Quick, everyone – change into something! Wear like city dwellers." She looked at the two other cadets, they were unsure of what to do. Rush looked at the girls, name tag, "Alena, find something not too striking, " And then looked at the boy's, "Quickly Nida, a t – shirt and shorts should do fine." They both hurried into the store. Rush took several seconds to pull out an outfit. It should do for the time being. It had arm warmers too, that should be good since she was freezing. The sleeveless black top clung to her like a second skin, and the shorts were cut above her knees, also black. The outer material was blue, and soft and went over the top while draping down to her boots like a misfit jacket except that it had no sleeves. It looked pretty good though, for all it's difference from the clothes back at Balamb. She pulled the yellow uniform SeeD ribbon from her hair, letting it down just past her shoulders. 

            Selphie had chosen something completely suited for her, although the choice of colour was striking, Rush had to admit it looked good on her. Selphie bounded up to her, "Hey, Rush... nice outfit!" Rush mumbled a thanks, but Selphie was already twirling in front of her. The sunflower yellow dress that Selphie wore, looked so damn cute... if it hadn't screamed to an abrupt halt just past her crotch. Zell seemed to notice that too, as he came up to them, wearing a pair of humongous blue shorts with a short, black jacket. His eyes widened as he took in the image, Selphie looked like a doll, innocently sexy one at that. 

            "C'mon, we have to move." Rush said. Nida and Alena appeared, wearing ordinary clothes, and dark colours, they had obviously taken her words seriously. 

*          *          *

            "_Where are you? I need you, to see you..." _

            There would sometimes be images, of a lovely chestnut haired girl. She looked a little like him, with wide eyes and delicate bone structure. In his dreams he would see her, looking for him; calling his name. No matter how he screamed and yelled for her, she could never hear him, never see where he was. He could never hear her either, and throughout the emptiness... the memory of her searching kept him alive. For somewhere, somehow... she was waiting for him. 

            But nowadays, his thought's and dreams were haunted by another girl, a darker haired one with the face of an angel. He shuddered when he thought about how close he had been to splitting her open, letting her blood soak the floor of his sanctuary. That would have probably desecrated it... but that wasn't his reason for letting her go. He had seen her once, in a vision. _Vision?He wasn't sure what it was, but he was sure it was the same girl he had duelled with. _

            He sat below a musty bridge, a steady pain increasing in his head. She was calling. This was routine, she was call and he would resist. The pain would increase until he could bear it no longer and would allow himself to be summoned to wait upon her pleasure. And every time, he would promise that he would not submit. But what are promises to oneself on the brink of excruciating pain like fire in the head? One day, he would be free. That he promised himself. 

            The pain grew, and agony clutched him. Yes, she was calling. 

            "When will you learn that you cannot resist me? Hmm?" Sorceress Edea a staggering image of beauty, with long dark hair that bordered on black that reached down to her knees; if you could look past the deadly coldness within those features, the hatred in those yellow eyes. "Where do you go, when I cannot reach you? Will you not tell?" She stepped in closer and put one hand on his shoulder, feeling it go rigid underneath. She wanted to tease him, to taste him, so she stepped in closer, bending her neck to his, letting her breath tickle before licking the salty skin. Felt him go tense, she smiled; her lips still at his collarbone. She roamed her hands about his body before stepping back to inspect him. 

            The basement of the large house was gloomy and hardly any one entered. A good place to train the boy during his younger days. He was fluent in over six languages, could do mathematics like a breeze and could recite history and poems like a scholar. But he was yet to learn his own. 

            The years had done much for Squall Leonhart. Edea sighed; at eighteen, the boyish figure had grown into a deliciously manly one. The shoulders were broad and hardened, the face a delight. He was so handsome, she thought, with the light brown hair and the faraway eyes. But then a hatred burned in a heart, he was SeeD. She would bed him just as she would kill him. What better way to slowly destroy SeeD, than to use their once most promising students? He had done better under her tutelage, merging magic and strength together. It still troubled her that he still resisted, but discipline would take care of that. 

            "We have a slight problem," Edea purred. 

            "Yes, mistress." Squall automatically said. 

            "The SeeD's have failed their mission." She continued. Squall's eyes narrowed at the word. But he could not remember anything about it, just that it had an effect on him. "Seifer is still alive, and searching for you. He knows the truth, and must be eliminated."     

            "Yes, mistress." 

            Edea's smile crept toward feline, "Good, but take care of that later. For now, look." She waved an arm in the air and Squall felt a shiver run upon his skin as he felt magic at work. "Look, I said." 

            He glanced at where she had indicated. An image appeared, as if a wall had opened between two areas. There were five people, walking quietly but quickly. They spoke in whispers to each other and were dressed outlandishly. Except for the girl in quiet blue. They way she spoke, her movements showed differently. And her hair flowed like a midnight river past her shoulders. She was – ! Her again! 

            "Hmm, she looks familiar." Edea said, her voice sounding thoughtful. "She's very young to be leading them. It's not a big wonder why they failed. It was a mistake to hire SeeD's to dispose of one of their own, but Seifer really is getting too close to the truth. I have a suspicion he has mentioned some of it to that girl, but for now, it is not important. She will have to go sooner or later. We will make it later, hmm?" 

             Squall was still watching. The other girl, the one in yellow. Looking at her made him feel something, as it did when he looked at the young man with the spiked blond hair. They, we're somehow, in his past maybe... he felt like he knew them, though the practical side of him said that it was impossible. 

            "Their mission must be compromised, whatever they are doing. They are not doing as ordered now. They are following the orders of that idiot girl." Edea played with her hair. "No, we should not kill her. Not yet, anyway. We should break her. One of her comrades should go. There the blond one who stands so protectively next to her." 

            Squall felt himself relieve a breath, "Why do you look so tense?" Edea said, peering into his face, "Surely you have done this too many times already." 

            "Yes, mistress. Consider it done." Edea fluidly moved close to him again, "Yes, I know. Think of all I've done for you. I've kept you after I found you, abandoned, left on the General's doorstep. Cared for you and raised you as my own." 

            _She lies... _  

            Squall forced his thoughts and emotions deep. They should not interfere with her orders, but then he felt her move away, the exotic smell of her drifting lightly in the musky air and his mind screamed as she whispered, "Why not dispose of them all?" 

*          *          *

            They were heading silently across rooftops of buildings. The train station was within sight now, and all their spirits were rising. The trail was narrow so they were travelling in lines of one and two. Selphie and Zell had begun to bicker again. Rush sighed, "What now, guys?" 

            Selphie spoke, "We were supposed to get back to Balamb on Garden vehicles, but of course, since everything's gone wrong and we we're captured. Probably assumed dead. So, we don't have any gil to get tickets. Then, I suggested that we steal a train." Selphie visibly brightened up at the thought. 

            "And I said she was crazy. What kind of trouble would that put Garden into? Stealing trains from Deling City, of all the ideas!" Zell said, with slight exasperation creeping into his voice. "There has to be another way." Beside him, Alena nodded her head in silent agreement. She was beginning to become attached to Zell, something that Rush had not failed to notice. 

            Rush thought a moment. "But we're not in SeeD uniform..." Selphie broke into a large grin. Rush returned it almost laughing, but then it faltered. She felt a presence nearby, one she had met before. What's happening to me? Am I getting premonitions now? _It's him, I can feel it..._

            Selphie's voice was tired, but edged with fear as she whispered, "What is it?" 

            "We're being watched, can't you feel it? Selphie take rear guard for a minute, take Alena and Nida with you. Zell, you're here with me." Selphie shuffled quietly away, taking the two cadets with her. 

            "Are _you _crazy now? We should be running by now, not waiting to be attacked! Look, there's the station. Let's go, steal a train if me must!" Zell had a grip on one of her arms, she understood his concern. But... would she fight and run again? No, she had questions of her own to ask him. She would ask him, even if she would hear the answers in his gasping last breaths.

            "Rush, what's wrong. I've never questioned your judgement, until now!" 

            "Quiet! He's here somewhere." Rush said. 

            "Who's here? Leaving you here is out of the question, but disobeying you could result in me not becoming a SeeD. C'mon, Rush. Just give the order and we'll steal the train, uniforms and all." Zell was halfway to pleading. 

            The shot was clear. The young blond man was talking to a figure he couldn't quite see. He was standing dangerously near to the side of the building.  His arms moved furiously as he talked, trying to look even convincing to himself. The man shifted, and suddenly Squall had a perfect view and confirmation of target. The tattoo was strange, that was true… but he wasn't asking any questions. Squall still had to question himself on why he chose tranquilizers instead of just plain bullets. He aimed carefully and released the shot. It flew true to target and Squall could mentally hear the 'thud' of the tranquilizer burying in flesh. What he didn't expect was, naturally – what was to happen. 

            Rush stared at the strange network of expressions upon Zell's face. His mouth was partially open, as if he had some important question or statement but could not word it. Her confusion turned to alarm as Zell lost his footing and began to spiral downwards; he would fall.  She ran towards him with her arms outstretched. No matter how fast she tried to go, it only seemed she went slower as time stood still and Zell fell over the side. 

            "No! Zell!" She yelled, her knees buckled as she crumpled to the ground; half sobbing and half in shock. Her arms gripped the sides, she crouched looking downward, seeing his unmoving form laying upon the dirty roadside. She crouched, unable to believe what just happened.  

            Squall had never felt so transfixed in his life. He was rooted, he couldn't move. He watched as a girl had run, her beautiful face scrunched in anguish. She had run too late, she had known to be wise while hiding in the shadows, but he knew now that she was cursing it. Each footstep she took vibrated in his head, he was intoxicated with the way her hair blew wildly behind her, dark as a crows wings flapping in the night. He had done what he had come to do – but he could not tear away. 

            She looked down for a very long time, contemplating her next action when her face suddenly went white. She realized she was in somebody's view. _Very clever…  Squall felt a stirring somewhere deep within, and knew for a certainty that nothing in the world would make him take a second shot. From where he stood he could feel her. He imagined skin upon skin, her hands upon his body... __the way her hands had touched his face, the shared breath between kisses...  _

            No! He would not allow those images to cloud his mind. This girl was dangerously alluring. Everything would go back to normal later. He would think of that later, he would question himself later. Who else was there to ask? 

            "Selphie!" She managed to choke out. 

            A clatter of feet came, "What – ?" Selphie looked at Rush and then peered over the edge, her eyes brimming with tears. "Oh no, dear gods. Zell." Then she quickly shook her head, she couldn't lose hope now. They were so close to getting out of here. "No, it can't be. He's not dead." Selphie bent over and roughly taking Rush by both arms, she gave her a rough shake. Seeing the despair in Rush's eyes had anger seething in Selphie's. 

            "Alena, Nida. Quickly, you need to secure us a train out of here. Steal one, bash the guards, just do it – SeeD honour be damned. Both of you have had enough training. Rush and me will be over with Zell. Understood?" 

            Both of them nodded, but doubt still clouded their eyes as they moved to getting about it. Selphie had seen it and yelled out after them, "Just do it! I know you can." Then her voice softened as she looked down at Rush. "Have faith, I believe you can." 


	7. Enter Kinneas

Rush and Selphie quickly found their way down the building. They had not spoken to each other since the attack. Each cocooned up in their own misery. Rush felt especially responsible since she had ordered him to stay with her. He had wanted to leave, begged with her even. And she had ignored him for her own selfish reasons, and now that she thought more and more about it – crazy ones. 

Selphie hopped down first, she reached his body and to Rush's complete and utter surprise, began to laugh and cry hysterically. Rush cautiously neared her, not wanting to throw her heart bare to the pain, but not wanting to extinguish the tiniest shred of hope either. 

Selphie cradled Zell's bruised body in her arms. He was asleep! Asleep and snoring with enough force to drown out a brass band at full blast. Selphie would have wept if the tears would come. Her heart swelled, she would never, ever take his presence for granted again. And... she would tell him. Truthfully, how she felt; after this was all over. 

"Zell?" Rush knelt down beside them and patted his face. His head lolled to one side. Selphie gasped. A thin dart protruded from his neck. Rush let out her breath. He was hurt, yes; but alive. She pulled it out, "We'll need this, take it back to Garden's lab to analyse it." Selphie's voice came out strained, "Why would anyone want to put Zell to sleep? Doesn't he do that enough? Why not just run a real bullet through his head?" 

Rush found herself too tired to be amused at Selphie's banter and placed her hand on Selphie's quivering shoulder. "Please, Selphie. This is not the time. We don't know if that's just a tranquillizer dart or more. Help me. We have to get him on the train. Now." Selphie sniffled before standing. 

"I'll take the torso, you take his legs."

Alena stood trembling. Killing grats and t – rex's were not like it at all. She had killed a man, a person who had not known that his life would be limited to seconds at the most as he lighted his pipe. She would have let him go. Had he not turned around and grabbed a handgun off the table and aimed it in her face. Her survival instincts made action flow easily from there onwards. And now he was dead. His blood pooling at her feet, his vacant eyes staring eerily up at her. 

Nida cast a glance her way, he hoped that she would pull together, or else his report to Rush, squad leader, on her performance would not be too decorative. He nimbly operated the trains controls, chugged it up so that it would be ready to go. They had stolen a pitiful transport train, but if it could get them out of here – any train was good enough. It was not long, however, before they appeared. He spotted Rush first, hurrying toward her so help ease the load. "Alena! Get the legs." 

Rush was beat. Zell was no pile of feathers, and him being unconscious didn't help her aching back one bit. Selphie puffed, while stretching her thin frame. She nevertheless quickly entered the train and got it moving. She took a look at Zell, lying unmoving on the dirty floor and relieved a sigh. We're out of here... 

***

"You disobeyed me." 

"Yes, mistress." The answer, as automatic as they came, was tinged with mockery. She might be able to manipulate his thoughts, meddle his memory, but she could not control the present, nor his actions when it came right down to doing them. This was, however, the first time he had carried out an order his own way. She had said 'dispose', but failed to mention how. 

"You disappoint me." 

"Yes, mistress." He barely had time to gasp as a force gripped his body, he hung in the air, an invisible noose felt around his neck. He could hold his breath for over five minutes, but the force of gravity dragging his body downwards made it extremely hard to do so. Edea watched as his face turned a light pink to dangerously purple. She let out an aggravated sigh before, with a furious wave of her hand, sent him flying against the wall. He barely let out a grunt, a trickle of blood flowed from his lip. 

She sauntered over to him as he rose. And he watched her come, warily. He mentally shut himself off. Willing himself to calmness, he just stood still as she crept closer. Closer still, until her lips were barely inches from his. She tilted her head then, and licked the blood. Squall could barely keep the bile from rushing past his throat. 

"You won't disobey me again." But softly to herself, when she drew back. "The spell is weakening... why?" She trailed a finger down his chest and spoke to him. "Are you gaining strength? Or is there some other interference?" She tapped her finger thoughtfully against his chest. 

"You're dismissed. Go and hide in your hole until I'm done thinking." 

***

The train slowed down to a stop at East Academy Station. 

"Walk?" The question sounded more like a exaggerated groan of anguish. 

"Yup, the train only goes near it – past it. It's not a long way off, just have to go through a small forest." Rush explained. 

Selphie shrugged. "OK, whatever keeps us alive." 

"And him?" Rush asked, looking over at Zell. 

"We'll just... err, good question." Selphie gave a little giggle, "It's not too far right? We'll just take turns at carrying him. We can dump him in Obel lake if he gets too heavy." 

Rush smiled, "Okay, no time to waste." 

"We're here, we've made it!" Selphie threw her hands in the air and jumped. Rush smiled, Galbadia Garden was indeed a sight for sore eyes. Easily the largest and gaudiest one, it couldn't beat Balamb Garden's prestige but boasted a student population of over five thousand, almost five times the number of students admitted to Balamb. SeeD's trained at Galbadia were more inclined to military attack style than when compared to the SeeD's at Balamb, who were trained to work as individuals and weapon specialists. Trabian SeeD's were known best as research and intelligence specialists, majority of them being trained as spies and scientists. The best weapons and gadgets came from Trabia, but although being more academically inclined than their counterparts in Balamb and Galbadia, Trabian SeeD's were no mean hand with their own weapons and attacks as Selphie had proven time and time again. 

The lands surrounding Galbadia Garden were wide and uninhabited, which allowed gradual expansion of the main building. It was a relief to all of them to see the familiar drilling's of students outside and the yelling members of the faculty. Rush turned around to face them and nodded before entering the building. 

The building was not filled with students, the interior was spacious and quiet; without the usual sounds of bustling youngsters. The steps they took echoed when they walked. 

"This is too slow, why don't we dump Zell somewhere and pick him up when we're done?" Rush said. Selphie giggled, "Yeah, dragging him around everywhere is not good for speed." 

Rush took a quick look at her surroundings, glancing over at some promising looking lockers, she allowed herself a mischievous smile. "Let's stuff him in one of those lockers for a while, I'm sure he wouldn't object." Nida had a hold of Zell, him and Alena holding Zell in a position which looked like they were just supporting an injured patient. Rush nodded and watched with amusement as they placed the limp Zell inside and closed the door with amused apologetic looks upon their faces. 

Selphie smiled broadly, eyeing a bunch of sweaty, bruised cadets freshly come from weapon training. "Now which of these scruffs shall we bestow the pleasure of showing us around?" The cadets barely noticed Selphie as she casually walked closer, engrossed in their bawdy talk of how many grats they killed and what they could expect for dinner later in the cafeteria. A short, sturdy boy, pale of face and about fifteen was the first to eye Selphie. He licked his pudgy lips at the soft allure of the short dress and the shapely legs that flowed from them. An evil spark came into Selphie's eye. 

Watching her, Rush smiled and winked at Nida, "Somebody's in for it." 

Nida returned her smile and nudged Alena who was stifling her giggles. He was glad that she was showing some sort of emotion after what she had gone through. In class she always aced theory lessons, but somehow did poorly as a fighter compared to other SeeD's. Quistis had already passed her off as an intel graduate, not as a fighting SeeD. 

Meanwhile, Selphie was zeroing on the kid. "Guys, hey... I'll catch up later okay?" The others glanced passingly at Selphie before meaningfully guffawing their approval. "Sure, we'll see you in the morning, sport." Selphie kept on smiling and waited for him to approach her; stomach churning in disgust. 

She plastered a wide smile upon her face by the time he arrived, "Hi there," she chirped. The kid swallowed any suspicions before answering, "Hello, my name's Joe. I'm a third ranking cadet here, and you... _look really hot in that dress_ are...?" He drifted off to let her continue his sentence. 

Selphie held out her hand, slightly closer to her body than usual and innocently purred, "I am... most delighted to meet your acquaintance." Her eyes drifted to his lips and hotly whispered, "...Joe_._" 

Rush burst out laughing at Selphie's unsubtle line. Nida just shook his head, smiling. "He'll be eating out of her hand in no time." 

"He doesn't really have the type of name that suits that kind of refined language." Rush added in an exaggerated knowing voice, then laughed again. "Joe, puh – lease!" Alena sighed in relief and giggled, she treasured any light – hearted talk. She thought of Zell cramped up in the locker and felt sorry for him; she was sure he wouldn't have wanted to miss this for anything. She smiled at the scene, bathing in the good humour that came from the two beside her. 

"Watch her handshake, lingering... hah! I don't want to know what he's thinking." 

Rush nudged Nida, "Wait... is she going to ask now? Of course he won't know he'll be escorting more than one person, the sucker. " 

Selphie then leaned in closer to the boy and spoke something in his ear, her hand resting lightly upon his chest. The boy nodded seriously, though anyone a mile away could smell his sweat and pleasured unease. 

"Woo – hoo! She did it." Nida laughed. Selphie turned their way and winked, and then linking her arm through the cadets, she called them over. Rush laughed as she bounded over, Nida and Alena following behind. "Joe, meet my friends. This is Diana, Rob and Francie; they're so glad to be able to meet you at last." 

Rush and Nida doubled over in laughter as Joe's face paled. 

***

Ellone walked over to a table at Galbadia Garden's cafeteria, carrying with her a cup of plain tea. Had she done the right thing to hire Irvine? Would he keep to his word? He _was _part of the orphanage gang, though she doubted he remembered any of that, and could be made to be loyal to her. Most of the part, his information was sufficient and accurate. And his ability to do... other things with women to get them to talk was amazing. She had relieved in her mind many of the past happenings, and within one which was untainted from outside power, yet unclear to her as it was to Irvine was the special emotions he harboured toward a girl from his past. 

She would not bring up how he had come to her service. That was his shame, and he would endeavour to strive for her to redeem himself. She felt herself growing sad at the memory, yet so incredibly happy that he came into her life, even if it was by default. 

She had come, all the way from Esthar to search for her brother. And she was well funded, by her father to be able to do whatever she wanted for the cause. She decided to hire a spy, she wanted a network. Where could she start? Not willing to overspend, she decided on Galbadia Garden for their SeeD's were relatively cheaper than their Balamb counterparts. 

"Please, sir. You can't do this to me. Give me another chance, please!" The voice was hoarse, yet as she heard it, it was like a pleading done too many times.

"Kinneas, get up and stop grovelling! I gave you two remissions, both because of your incredible ability with the sniper. But this time... this time is it! Enough, do you understand?!" The other voice was trembling with anger, barely able to hold it back. Ellone shuddered, suddenly feeling very into the moment, then; as she stood shocked and transfixed by the shouting and sobbing on the other side. She had come for a formal visit to the headmaster, to coax him into hiring their best to her, but instead – she really shouldn't be eavesdropping, but for some reason. maybe sympathy or just plain curiosity made her stay. 

The gulping subsided, "I don't have anywhere to go. This is my home! I've never wanted anything else but to become a SeeD." 

Standing outside, Ellone shuddered at the new force of the next booming shout. "Then you should have thought about it before impregnating the resident doctor AND..." The voice lowered to a choked whisper of betrayal, "My wife..." 

Ellone recoiled from the door in shock and disgust. The voice continued speaking, now with a calm, collected anger and somewhat more dangerous than the loud anger that he had displayed earlier. 

"Galbadia Garden has no place for an amorous fool such as yourself. You have shown no self – discipline, no self – respect, and above all you cannot restrain yourself from any sort of self indulgence. What kind of SeeD would you have become? Nothing to make anybody proud." The silence stretched. 

"Get out of my sight. Within the hour, if you are still within the Garden perimeters, I will give orders to have you shot. Do I make myself clear?" 

She ran from the door, and casually leaned against one of the many railings a distance away from the headmaster's office. Her mind whirled and an idea that appalled her, but stuck inside her head manifested. She could heal him, she could give him the second chance that he so badly wanted, and in return; his loyalty and silence for the kind of work she had in mind. Practicality won over her the feelings that her morals had evoked, after all he was a sinner and a slut but he could also be extremely useful. She would hire him on her terms. She didn't think that Martine would have much to say since it would profit his Garden if he could put aside his feelings over his wife's sordid affair and Kinneas would be a SeeD, considering he did his job well. 

Behind her, a door slammed with enough for its hinges to jump off. 

Ellone jerked suddenly at the noise in her head and her tea spilled over her hands, making her hiss in pain. She had followed Rush here, using her talent to guide her here. She had yet to find out why the SeeD examination was a hoax on the part of the Countess. Many lives had been lost that night, many had not lived out to be awarded with a SeeD title and graduation. There was something very unusual about that Rush, an aura and she was doubly intriguing since she could not see her past starting from the time which Squall disappeared. They would meet again and soon, and this time Ellone was sure that "Rush" had some questions to ask. 

***

He sat. Alone and deep in thought. Edea was up to something and was displeased with him. He never cared before. He never cared about anything before. Before... until, "I met you..." he whispered. Now the space he occupied felt confined and he felt restricted. He wanted, no, needed to feel free as he did when he looked into her eyes. It was her eyes he saw. In his dreams when he was asleep or awake it never mattered. If he had shot her as he was ordered to do, then he probably would have shot himself next. 

He would live if only to see her again. 

His pattern of thought began to change, slowly but determined to. He needed to get out, to get away from this hell he had called home. 

Author's Note: 

Okay, that bit with Irvine was never planned but it just came into my head while I was writing it. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long while, now I'm trying to think back to the original story I had planned for it. It's changed slightly but not by much, but I will try and include everybody's connection to everyone else. 

And to , SoulSwhispers666@aol.com, thank you for the e – mail! It kind of woke me up. I had half the next chapter written already but just had a really bad case of writer's block. So, I hope this chapters is ok. 


	8. Pretenses

They hustled together, not too far from the office doors – out of sight, but close enough to hear what was being said. Alena and Nida were asked to check on Zell and keep an eye on the locker to make sure no one accidentally opened the door to find any shocking surprises. Selphie suddenly squeaked as Rush stepped on her toe. Rush swiftly nudged her and grinned widely, "Shh! I want to hear what that spineless idiot of yours is saying." 

"He's not spineless! He's just..." 

"Soft! A bloody jellyfish!" 

"Rush! Shh!" Selphie followed up with a giggle and elbowed Rush. "And he isn't _mine _as you were saying." 

"Well, you didn't have to include _me _in your devilish scheme." Rush muttered. 

***

"Permission to speak with the Headmaster. The matter is urgent." Joe saluted with a voice that was a pitch too high to hold any truth. 

The secretary looked down her nose and past her black – rimmed glasses perched upon them. The mud on his shoes! The dirt streaked uniform, and a training one at that. And the smell of dried up sweat was horrendous. She daintily pinched the tip of her nose while her other hand fumbled her pockets for a delicately embroidered handkerchief which she then placed upon it. 

"Cadet 112754, your appearance is a disgrace. Please go away until you are properly _bathed _and attired." She said it as if she said it often and waved her hand in dismissal. 

"Ma'am, err..." Joe began again, "Miss, please." After seeing her give him a withering stare he began to back up. 

***

Rush sighed. Selphie obviously hadn't picked the right person for a dramatic introduction that had been playing in her head. "Looks like we'll have to take this matter into out own hands." 

Selphie grinned.

"How's my hair?" Rush asked, trying to smooth it down. 

"Terrible." 

"And my clothes? Do I look like someone who's desperate to hire SeeD right this moment?" 

"Rush, you look like you've been to hell and back." 

There was suddenly a gleam in Selphie's eye. "The most we could do... is convince that snobby secretary that... that we've been mugged! And... we need someone who can take us safely under their protection with a paid contract back to Deling Heights." Selphie said, naming an exclusive Deling City suburb, where blue bloods and high ranking officials and their families often resided.

"Good fabrication." Rush said approvingly. "Now start crying."   


***

Joe stood there miserably, wondering what story to come up with to make this marble stature of a lady understand that if he absolutely needed to see the headmaster. It was the only chance of his life to take out two beautiful girls, both of them, and on one date! How the other guys would fawn over them and burn with jealousy. The one dressed in yellow had even promised him something special _afterwards_! Just the thought of it and her made him break out in a sweat. 

He stood there grumpily and stupidly, trying to squeeze ideas from his head the way someone would try to milk a turnip. He was, however, totally unprepared for the disheveled 'Dolly' that was approaching him; weeping as if her heart would break. Diana was behind her, pale and shaky. 

The secretary looked up suspiciously. 

Selphie gulped and spoke in a trembling voice. "Please, we'd do anything for your help. We just want to go home! Daddy will be so angry with me, and so will yours, Diana." 

Rush looked on the verge of tears, her eyes brightening with unshed liquid. Joe looked totally shocked at the two of them, where was the spunky and sexy Dolly and the leather tough but beautifully elegant Diana? 

"We've been robbed and kidnapped!" Selphie cried out, sobbing her words out. Rush put a comforting shoulder around her. "Shh now, we're safe here. Joe here said he could take us to someone who could help us for a price. I'm sure Daddy won't hesitate to pay anything to have me back safe. Yours would too." She looked meaningfully at the secretary who was beginning to look from sympathetic to disgusted with the two bimbos who obviously were the pride and joy of their rich fathers. She looked sharply at the stunned cadet. 

"So this was your emergency, Cadet 112754?" She asked coldly. Joe looked ready to faint, "Y – yes!" He managed to blurt it out and nodded his head vigorously. 

"Tell me." She demanded in a clipped voice. "Short and sweet, honeys." 

***

Selphie dabbed her eyes with the backs of her hand, holding Rush's hand tightly with the other as she related her story; cleverly choking on her words. 

"And they began to get angry with us because we didn't have any cash! They took our shopping bags and threw them out the window." Selphie shuddered, "While the car was moving!" 

Rush began to cry softly and sniffed, "Then... they stole our credit cards." Selphie barely stifled a laugh, Rush sounded so mournful. "And just pushed us out of their car in a forest about half a mile from here. We walked, can you imagine that? The heel of my stilettos broke." 

The secretary looked at them impatiently, their 'short' story had already eaten up half and hour. 

"So what is it, specifically, that you want? A squad? A team? How long and how much can you pay? SeeDs don't come cheap, sweet – things." 

At that, Selphie burst into tears. "We want to go home, you bumpkin! And we want to arrange for a contract with the headmaster! Not his secretary." She finished angrily, realizing this haughty bitch wasn't going to give in easily. 

"Yes. We want to meet him now, please." Rush said quietly, her eyes now losing the ding – dong look and being replaced by a darker, dangerous glow. She sighed, "Selphie, knife please." 

Selphie began to laugh a little bit hysterically. "I knew it was going to end up something like that." With that she reached to her boot and drew out a long, curved blade; brandishing it about to the secretary who began to pale. 

They all were more than a little stunned when the 'ding' to the elevator rang. Rush didn't seemed bothered by it and was already heading to the large double doors that led to the headmaster's office. "Whoops?" Selphie said to the secretary. 

"Joe, go see to that. Put your training to some use." Rush barked back, slipping him a wink while giving him a thumbs – up. Without any dilly – dallying, she unceremoniously pushed the door open and stepped inside; behind her the doors banged shut. 

***

"Gimme yer gun, Johnny!" Selphie sarcastically ordered. "We'll have to make sure someone isn't sorry they saw something they never should have." 

"B – But, it's Joe!" He blurted out, still shocked at the turn of events. 

Selphie sighed, battered her eyes at him and pouted, "Yes, I know darling; but will you please hand over your gun?" Joe reluctantly placed his trainee's shock – wave stun gun into Selphie's waiting hand. 

The elevator doors slid open, and a shocked Ellone was just in time to see a slip of a girl in a very revealing yellow sundress brandishing a menacing looking blade in one hand and a stun gun in the other. Ellone closed her gaping mouth and took a step back into the elevator, hoping no one had seen her, her hand fumbled for the close button, but her mind was captivated. That girl! She was an image, the same image of innocence and affection that was lodged deep in Irvine's mind. His incarnation of hope. 

She blinked just in time to hear a short scream and to see a blur of yellow and darkness. 

***

Martine, Headmaster of Galbadia Garden threw back his head and laughed. "You could have just told the truth you know. She wouldn't have bitten." 

"Sir. It's not just that you need a change of secretaries." Rush stated blandly. 

"Tell me everything then, Cadet Olsen; everything that has happened since you left the shores of Balamb Island. I am listening. You have thirty minutes of my time; I have another important appointment with an importance personage from Esthar." 

His mouth quirked in amusement at the collected cadet and her outrageous story that she had told him minutes before – something about being mugged and kidnapped, but he had to give it to her, the story and the teller were believable, from her refined spoilt speech to her pose. However, he was not appointed the title 'headmaster' by being stupid and he could tell that something big was behind this cadet. With hair that curled charmingly around her face and eyes that almost looked at him with disdain – as if she thought he was not too bright, she was intriguing and like a breath of fresh air from the stagnant SeeD uniformity. 

Rush related everything she deemed relevant. She did not think it was necessary to tell him that she was singled out, or that an instructor from Balamb Garden might be involved in the massacre and failure of the SeeD final examination. She flatly stated what she needed: to be sent back to Balamb Garden to give her report and the see that the rest of her team was safe. She demanded that whatever operation took place be with utmost secrecy. 

Martine had listened to the story with growing concern. The Countess had been hiring SeeDs? Why Balamb SeeDs and not Galbadian ones? There was something fishy going on. Seifer Almasy's group had illegal operations running around Deling City for the last four years. They had brought along with them a nice sum of profit that had kept the President looking the other way. What their operative status and goals were unknown, but it was rumoured that Almasy was once a SeeD cadet. But the thought still tickled him, why did the Countess suddenly want him dead?

***

Selphie looked in surprise at the woman she had stunned. She looked strangely familiar to her and Selphie tipped her chin to get a better look at her face. Her features were delicate, a straight nose with a pretty dusting of freckles over it, nicely curving eyebrows, high cheekbones... the stubborn chin, the lips – the resemblance was incredible! She gave a gasp before letting the head drop. This was not the time to let ghosts of the past haunt her. 

"Huh? What's _she _doing here?" Joe asked. 

"Miss Loire! Look what you've done, young lady. Do you know; _know _who she is?" The secretary screeched. "She is the heir to the Estharian presidency!" 

"What did you say her name was?" 

"Loire! Ellone Loire! Where have you been these past few decades? No radio or TV where you come from?" The annoyed secretary rolled her eyes, forgetting the blade that was close to her neck – but not for long since Selphie waved it in front of her face again. 

"Ouch, the cat has claws. I do believe, however, that she gave a lecture at our hall a few days ago." Selphie said. "Tell me about her..." 

"I only know what everybody else knows." The secretary trembled; and Selphie suddenly felt very harassed – she had been without sleep for the past night, pursued through the muck in sewers of Deling City and had felt like her heart had been yanked out and rudely put back in with what happened to Zell; no, Selphie was in no mood for anything else. Pressing the knife hard harder, almost hard enough to draw blood she repeated, "Tell me _everything_." 

***

Martine felt that he had heard enough. He did strangely agree with one thing though, something that he had never really noticed – he really did need a new secretary. Pushing the unimportant thought from his head, he held up his hand to stall her persuasive speech. "You have it." 

"I beg your pardon, Sir. What do I have?" Rush asked, puzzled. 

"You have my permission to organize whatever you need to. A train pass, or a rented car if you prefer, anything that my name and rank can do to help you, considering you speak well of me to your superiors." He smiled charmingly at her. At least this way he could keep tracks on her, she was too smart for her own good... and not telling him everything. 

"I will sign a document that you may carry and show to any SeeD who may question you. I'm sure you've seen some during your time of learning." 

Rush looked at the large grandfather clock at a far corner of the room, half – an – hour was almost up. She did not like this man, and he looked like he thought he was so very pleased with himself for handling her well. Still, she had to give him some credit since he was still suspicious of her and her story. She had diluted and mixed it with something her imagination had conjured, and it did sound pretty believable but she wasn't sure if this 'Martine' was easily fooled and had gone along with her tale for any sort of secrecy's sake. 

"Permission to begin organization of operation at once, Sir." 

Martine looked up in surprise; he had thought that she would want to discuss it with him. Apparently she was quick and determined to keep something to herself. "Before you begin, would you care for any lodging for the night before you start anything? We could lend you the use of some dormitories for the night." 

Rush's eyes narrowed, he was trying to keep her here. "Sir, it would be best if we left soonest." 

A quick blink of the eyes showed Martine's surprise. "Yes, of course. The document will take just a minute; please wait outside. I will have my secretary write it up." 

Rush doubled over with laughter. "I don't think she's in any state to write up anything." 

***

"Rush! Thank goodness! How did it..." Selphie's words trailed off as she saw a man walk steadily behind her. Headmaster Martine! She quickly dropped her blade and lowered the gun; but not before the headmaster had assessed the situation in one quick glance over. Joe began to sweat profusely.

Martine turned to Rush and gave her a stern look as if to say, 'what have you done?!' Rush had the humility to look downwards under his glare. But his voice came out exasperated and was not directed to her. "Miss Bromleigh! Get out from behind the desk and attend to me." 

Selphie managed not the giggle at the sight of the obviously scared secretary patting her hair and arranging her skirt as she came out from her hiding place. "She saw a spider." Selphie clarified, only to receive a withering stare from the secretary and a frown from the headmaster. Rush just grinned broadly and winked at her. 

***

Had to get out, had to escape. He had never felt like this before and now it was claustrophobic. Plans had spiraled through his head, questions over things he had never thought of before. But he knew one thing for sure – the next time he was sent on a mission, would be the last and he would find his answers his own way. 

Bathed and attired in Galbadia Garden's standard cadet uniform Rush stretched out her hands above her head, "Only an hour till our rented car comes! I won't be as glad when it comes than when I reach my room. Why don't we take a tour of Galbadia Garden? I'll be your guide for the day." Rush joked. "Or if you'd really rather, I'll ask Joe if he'd do the honors." 

Selphie had been rather quiet since the confrontation with Headmaster Martine and his secretary, she was wrestling with whether she should tell Rush of her, Zell and Quistis' pact about searching for Squall. After all, Rush would find a druggy looking Ellone in the backseat of their car when she got in. This was probably the first time she had made plans and not shared it with her, but she felt that although Rush deserved an explanation, she would also think Selphie had gone too far as to abduct someone just for answers. 

Rush sensed her agitation. "Selphie, what's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong, just enjoying the peace and quiet." Selphie lied. 

"Now something is definitely wrong," Rush said half – jokingly. "Enjoying the peace and quiet," she mocked, "Yeah, right!" 

"Rush..." 

"Okay, okay... lighten up, man." Rush had no idea what was going on, but felt like Selphie was just tired of everything and just wanted to go home. "Why don't we take a walk? It could be fun..." 

Selphie gave a watery smile, "Yes, I'd like that. Where to?" Rush laughed, oblivious to the lack of response, "The cafeteria, of course, I'm starved! I wonder if hotdogs are always sold out over here." 

"Here we are," Rush said, glancing around at her surroundings. The cafeteria here was almost identical to the one at Balamb – almost, the ambiance was different though; there was no laughter, and talks at tables were very subdued and quiet. "Can I get you anything?" 

"Sex on the beach..." Selphie trailed off. 

"Wh – aat? Say again. I don't believe they've ever sold any type of alcoholic drink in Garden cafeterias; choose again, Selph. We'll go to a bar first thing when we get back." Rush said, following Selphie's gaze. Interestingly, the look was centered on an attractive male sitting alone at a table. He had long brown hair, a few shades darker than Selphie's, which he tied in a ponytail that went down his back and he seemed like he was impatient to meet with someone, his fingers tapping the table while his foot tapped the floor. His face was partly obstructed by a creamish – yellow coloured cowboy hat upon his head, and was slightly turned away from them; Rush decided he looked like he could have just ridden out of a rodeo and was good for laughs. "Go say hi." 

Selphie jumped, "Oh... hmm, well. He is good looking, huh?" Rush grinned, "Yeah, from here anyway. What's stopping you?" 

"He... would it sound strange to say that he looks familiar? And I've been thinking that everyone's beginning to look familiar or bear resemblance to someone a lot." 

Rush gave her head a shake. _What is she saying?_ "Just go for it. You've probably never met him before in your life." _But... he does seem familiar. Why is that?_

"Oh, Hyne...!" They both said simultaneously, looking at each other. Answers! Rush thought, but she'd probably have to kill him to get them, remembering where they last met. How could she have not remembered him? It _was _dark in the cell, but not so dark that she hadn't been able to see him. 

Selphie was having more or less the same kind of thoughts. And to think she had been attracted to him! For sure, he _was _good looking. She had thought that even as she knocked him out cold back then. She quietly took the newly acquired stun gun, concealed in the underside of her dress and slid in the empty chair next to him. He looked at her in surprise at first, then in shock. Rush stood beside the table between them. "There are two guns aimed at your crotch." She stated in a matter – of – fact tone. 

Irvine almost laughed if he wasn't feeling so vulnerable. He had been eyeing them since they had entered the café, but had sensed something odd about them. Now he knew why. The dark – haired one was Rinoa Caraway alias Rush Olsen, while the second was an image of the stuff his dreams were made out of – the same dream that had almost smashed his brains back in the old warehouse. 

"We want answers." Rush quietly demanded "Who are you and who do you work for?"

Irvine gave a chuckle. "Deep questions. Do you understand deep answers?" Rush narrowed her eyes at his arrogance; Selphie slapped his knee with the gun. He immediately went rigid. "I don't know anything. I'm a paid mercenary, a SeeD. I do what I'm told to do." 

"And what were you told to do? What was it you told me to listen to? Who was it that was monitoring our conversation?" Rush asked none – stop, unable to stop the rush of questions that were now crashing through her mind. "Most importantly, who told you to do it?" 

"Martine, of course." 

Rush's head snapped up. Selphie's eyes looked as big as saucers. "Martine!" Irvine grinned, at least they weren't asking about _him_. Maybe he was premature in thinking so, because Selphie was already shaking her head. "Wait up, _who _are you? Quit dancing around." Selphie said. 

"Irvine, _darling_." Rush mocked, suddenly remembering. 

Irvine tipped his hat toward her. "Nice that you remembered. Kinneas, Irvine Kinneas, ladies." Rush snorted in disgust, remembering the circumstances in which they met. "Whatever." She muttered. 

Rush blew non – existent strands of hair from her face in exasperation. "And what, may we inquire, is your purpose here, Miseur Kinneas?" 

"I thought the question is more suited to me since this is _my _garden." 

Rush frowned, "Why don't we just blow off his balls, Selph?" 

"Aye – aye, Capt'n!" Selphie cheerfully said and Irvine visibly paled. Rush almost laughed, but kept her expression hard. 

"I'm waiting for someone. A client." Irvine said wistfully, thinking of Ellone and her quiet beautiful face. So touched by sadness but gentle and kind at the same time to others. _To him especially..._

"A woman." Rush said quickly. 

"How'd you guess?" 

"That look on your face." Rush replied, Selphie murmured an agreement. 

"What look on my face?" Irvine asked, stung. 

"The dreamy, mushy, ridiculous one, of course." 

Irvine laughed; he was actually enjoying their conversation. "I actually feel like telling you the truth." She was so darned serious, with those brown eyes and liquid hair that he felt like asking her out or to loosen up; but there was a dangerous air about her that made him keep his distance – for the meantime anyway. The other one was... he was sure she could break his heart with a smile or acknowledgement but she was doing neither. There was something so familiar about her but he couldn't pinpoint what it was, or even where that feeling came from. But Irvine was not one to spend time thinking on those things; he could sense the attraction between them – and to him that was what mattered. It helped some that she had an interesting friend. 

"So why don't you spare us the trouble and do it?" Rush said irritably. Not liking the way his gaze lingered on Selphie. 

Selphie felt his gaze on her and lifted her eyes to his. "If I did, that would be no guarantee that I would meet you again." 

Rush let out a really loud sigh. "Guys, do it later." 

Irvine laughed out loud. "For some reason, I really like you two." Rush rolled her eyes. 

"Good. So start talking, we have –" Rush paled as she glanced at the café's digital watch that hung across the entrance. "No time! Quick!" Rush slammed her fist down on the table, quivering with anger, "Damn you!" And with that she took off, not waiting for Selphie. 

Selphie stood uncertainly. "I have to go." Irvine took a hold of her hand, but she pulled it away, disappointed with him and his no – go answers. _What was I expecting anyway?_

"Wait –" Irvine started. "What is _your _name? Can I see you again?" 

"It would probably be better if we didn't. We'd probably meet on the opposite sides of a battlefield." Selphie said with a smile she didn't feel. She turned and walked away, running after she exited the café. "Rush! Wait for me!"

Irvine watched her leave. "Damn!" He said softly under his breath. 

***

In her quarters, Quistis paced with anger and frustration. Her plan had not worked out – Seifer obviously had his own reasons for agreeing with her in the first place and she had not even thought that he could. How careless of her, and because of her mistake and his betrayal, more than half of the initial number of cadets had not returned alive. And those that did were sorely changed, stripped of any confidence in SeeD they might have had. 

She needed to contact him again – and she would kill him. Out of the whole disciplinary committee and faculties of Garden, she had not lost faith in him. She had never believed that he had had any part of being involved with Squall's disappearance and later proclaimed murder. Her voice was not loud enough, however she spoke to defend him; he was immediately dismissed from SeeD and bound for the Desert Prison for a decade long sentence.

"Damn that man!" She cursed. Was that his idea of a diversion? She sat down heavily upon the large armchair, mostly used to accommodate concerned parents, disciplinary cases and other staff members who came for a chat. Wisps of blond hair fluttered around her face as she rubbed her temples. 

"Why was Rush's unit singled out? And where was she during the fighting when the back – up teams came?" Quistis asked herself, then shuddered. "And died...." The fleeing SeeDs had said something about a kidnapping that they had witnessed, and others had said that the fighting was specifically for her. Quistis closed her eyes and leaned her head back; how could she have known that the band of rogues terrorizing Deling City was Seifer's band of thugs? 

A/N: Apologies to those who expected a Squinoa straight into the story, I know right now it looks as if the whole story is centered on Rinoa but bear with me. This is turning out to be longer than I expected. And for anyone who's reading this one shot, please inform me if some bits of information clash along the chapters – I update irregularly, so the storyline gets juggled in my head. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!


	9. Loosening

Chapter 9: Homecoming 

"You send your thieves to me,

Silently stalking me, dragging me into your war.

Would you give me no choice in this?

I know you can't resist trying to re-open a sore."

"Time" – Sarah Mclachlan

Rinoa sat stiff backed, staring out of the train window, wishing for the hundredths time that she could open it and feel the wind whip across her face, to somehow cleanse the dirt and filth and lies that clouded her past. She had never felt so curious about it before. But then again, her life and those of her comrades had never come into question. Now it seemed as if danger seemed to follow her wherever she chose to take breath.

It seemed to Rush that ever since she had left Balamb Garden, her life had seemed to take on a dangerous edge. There were some things she had yet to find out about herself but she had no idea where exactly to start.

She needed to talk to Ellone, for starters. But that girl talks riddles! Rinoa thought with annoyance. But find Ellone she must. Next would definitely be some research on Rinoa Caraway. The name bugged her like an itch that would not fade away no matter how much you scratched it till it bled. And lastly, Squall Leonhart. Rush smiled quietly, one tinged with sorrow and anticipation. At least with this Squall she could get information from her friends right away. If they were willing, that is, Rush thought dispassionately. Every small reaction, gasp and whisper seemed to have its own meaning, a small clue that led to the bigger picture. And Rush seemed to be the centre piece for it.

She ran a hand across her face, letting out a soft sigh. Beside her, the sleepy form of Selphie stirred.

"Rush… what's wrong?" Selphie asked, her voice still masked with sleep. Rinoa looked at her apologetically. "Did I wake you?"

Selphie let out an enormous yawn while stretching her arms above her head. "No," she admitted, "I wasn't that asleep anyway. What's bothering you?" Selphie persisted.

Rush looked down at her hands. Her voice came out a little less than steady. "I think…I really should be asking you the same thing." Fixing her eyes on Selphie and then glancing to the sleeping Zell who was stretched out on the opposite seat in their carriage. Selphie grimaced, this was not what she was expecting, but at the same time she felt it was time for her to tell. Rush knew something was up. She was no fool. Had Rush not proved herself over and over? Yet, some doubts lingered, and she, Quistis and Zell always questioned whether Squalls sudden disappearance had a tie with her sudden appearance.

Quickly, she made up her mind. She lashed out with her newly acquired boots from Galbadia Garden and gave Zell a quick, but effective kick in the shins. Rush could not help but suppress a snort of amusement.

Zell was quick to come to. "What _is _your problem, Selph?" He demanded, irritated that his first nap in what felt like eons should come to an abrupt halt.

"I want to ask some questions." Rush stated matter-of-factly, but her tone did not quite disguise how desperately she felt she needed these answers. Zell caught the tone immediately, swinging his legs off the sofa and sitting up straight. The blood rush made him cringe and put his head between his knees. Selphie gave a small smile at the sight.

After a few moments, Zell had regained his composure and sat up. "What questions?" But it was Selphie who answered, "It's about Squall."

* * *

Edea sat in silence in front of her dressing table, staring at her flawless visage surrounded by a dozen brightly lit bulbs. Her plan had gone awry and the spell she had cast years past had begun to weaken, slowly but surely. _Why?_ The SeeDs she had hired from Balamb had botched their job. And now Galbadia Garden was suspicious of the loyalty of their General and especially his wife. In other words, she was suspect for now. What exactly did that meddling Seifer want? Edea seethed. That girl Rinoa had great talent, better left untapped and unknown to her. If she becomes a threat, it will be a simple task for me to obliterate her. Edea suddenly scowled; an ugly expression that vanquished any beauty that might have been found in her features. _But Squall had failed her! _That idiot boy, Zell was not dead. None of them were. She would have to rethink her plan carefully now.

After Rinoa's sudden disappearance, her father, the General had begun a sympathetic campaign to search for his missing daughter. Implications of suspected terrorists, assassins, from the three Gardens across the globe were aplenty. Since who else had the means and the skill to perform such flawless kidnapping or murder, except for SeeDs? It was also convenient that SeeDs were governed by rules of confidentiality and privacy for their clients. It all added fuel to Galbadia's hatred for these war breeding schools and the mechanic outcome of their graduates. Rinoa Caraway, once beloved daughter of the General and famed songstress Julia Heartilly was in the end just another closed case. It suited Edea perfectly.

She needed Squall to play a part, yet, she could not hazard a guess to what he would do if her mind control was released. Who would he go to? He could be some use as a spy, an innocent one. But a spy for her nevertheless.

* * *

"So, he just disappeared one night?" Rush asked, puzzled with the story itself.

"Yeah," Zell answered, his face serious. "But at that time, I was on my day off visiting Ma Dintch at Balamb Town. And then… the next day there you were, sitting for hours on end at that train station with no idea of who you _really _were and where you came from or even where you were going. The idea of bringing you back with me seemed… well, kind of appropriate, since in a way, she _had _no one."

Zell shook his head. "When I came back to Garden with you in tow…" Rush gave a mock shudder. Selphie was perplexed, she hadn't heard this part of it yet.

"What!" Selphie yelped out. "Well, out with it!" Unable to even sit anymore, Selphie bounded over to Zell and gave him an impatient shake. A watery smile hovered at Rush's lips.

"Whoa there Selphie! Gimme a break here for a bit will ya?" Zell said, half-annoyed and half-reluctant to tell the rest. He was spared as Rush continued. "The first person we met was a very livid Quistis. Believe me here when I say 'very livid' is the understatement of the year." Rush sighed, the memories suddenly becoming very vivid, as if they passed before her very eyes. Saw a younger, scared looking girl entering a world unknown to her, following with blinding trust this young boy who had taken her by the wings.

* * *

"Are you sure it's OK to just being in anybody?" Rush asked, her eyes wide as they swept across the lavish surroundings. Clean and orderly, not entirely decorative, but expensive looking nonetheless. She only carried what she had with her, the only possessions she knew she had. The clothes on her back and the over–night bag her aunt had given her.

"Sure, there are tones of hopefuls wanting to get in. They have recruitment teams everywhere, but a very select are allowed to enter." Zell stopped short and stared her up and down. Rush grew annoyed, and in a rare gesture of easiness, smacked him hard on the head. "Here, now. What do you think you're doing?"

Zell stopped his scrutiny and chuckled, rubbing the top of his head in mock hurt. "Ouch, Rush. That hurt y'know?"

Rush snickered, "I'm sure it did." She received a wide grin from Zell, who then said, "Ha-ha, very funny. But for your information I don't think you'll have any trouble getting in. Your build is good, you got the height. Seem smart enough. And if you still don't get in as a fighting SeeD, I'm sure you'll be like some fantastic bomb-shell spy, like the one in Bond's 007."

"Huh?" Realization dawned upon her and a laugh escaped Rush's lips. It came very sudden, but felt so good and it wasn't long before Rush figured out that once she had started, she found it very difficult to stop. Zell laughed along with her.

* * *

"The calm before the storm apparently," Zell sighed. "Quistis came then, and she was extremely upset about something I could tell, but I wasn't prepared for how hostile she was going to be with Rush."

Rush interrupted, her insulted expression mixed with mirth. It was obvious she had forgiven Quistis for the slight, but still disliked it for what it was. "From her most objective point of view, I was some ding-dong toy Zell bought back from Balamb to occupy his spare time and distress with. And that's a really nice way of putting it. There were _more _important things at hand, was how she put it."

Zell looked at Rush sympathetically. "She didn't mean it you know. She was upset about…" Selphie and Zell looked at each other.

Rush looked at both of them. "Yes, I do remember. After that nice perfectly aimed insult at me, she pulled you aside and you two had a nice conference, which I was not invited to join."

Zell looked abashed. "Well, it wasn't like that. Quistis had this plan that's all and wanted my help."

Rush's gaze sharpened on him, "What' plan? And what was Quistis upset about? You trailed away back then."

Selphie spoke up. "Squall Leonhart." She stated quietly. Rush snapped her head around. "What is it with him? This Leonhart, Caraway and mad-hatter Seifer."

Selphie have a giggle, "Mad – hatter would be most correct." She swallowed her mirth enough to continue. "Anyway, Squall is… was… our friend. Our childhood friend actually. He went AWOL four years ago. We don't know if he's dead or alive or married with children, except that Squall would never get married or have children," Selphie rambled, "But that's beside the point."

"The point is that the day when Squall was discovered missing, was the day you arrived in Balamb." Selphie said, "And the thing that really made Quistis, and the rest of us upset was that Garden had conveniently ruled him as a dropout."

Selphie gave a strong shake of her head and continued softly. "But we knew Squall. For all his silence and aloofness, he was the best candidate for SeeD there ever was. Even his grades are… well, let's just say that Squall would have graduated at the top of his class, with marks and honors succeeding generations would have found hard to beat."

Beside her Zell had gone very quiet. "And he was like a brother to all of us, as much as he disliked being around anyone. He was admired by many, but we…" He trailed off, suddenly embarrassed.

Rush nodded. "I understand." For her, that much _was _true but she didn't understand why so much secrecy shrouded it. "And what about Seifer?"

Selphie picked up the tale "Oh, Seifer was like a wild-card thrown in Garden from somewhere, but we knew him from earlier." Selphie frowned, "It's hard to even remember that he came from the same orphanage. Squall was his rival. Take note when I don't say that Seifer was Squall's."

"He disappeared sometime after Squall did. He left with his posse and I say left because a dozen or so cadets watched him turn his back on Garden and leave after failing his first SeeD candidate exam. Nobody's heard from him, but rumor has it he runs a tight-knit community of criminals or smugglers in Deling City. But then again, rumor has it also, that he's just running a spy – network and his criminals are information exhorts. Who's to know the real truth?" Selphie shrugged to emphasize her point.

Rush contemplated what she had just heard. "But why did Garden just write Squall off like that? They must have known that he was an exemplary student."

Zell regarded her gravely, "I think they would have, but there's another authority in Garden besides the headmaster. No one knows who it is. And, I think they decided to search when they found a replacement in you, Rush."

"Me?" Rush asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Well, not an exact match, but more like, someone who could fill in his shoes where no one else could. Personality wise, excuse me while I laugh my head off." Zell chuckled, comparing in his head the fiery Rush with the icy Squall. Who knows what could happen if they met. Thinking about it dimmed Zell's mirth. He looked out the train window and saw the outlines of Balamb town, sparkling white in the sun and looking as welcoming as a mother's bosom. He had never felt so relieved to be back.

"Look." Selphie breathed. Rush gave a loud snort, "Of course it would seem ten times more wonderful after our scrapes with death."

Zell elbowed her in the stomach, earning with satisfaction an "Oomph" while Selphie smiled, humming her train song. It was a good homecoming.

* * *

"Long lost words whisper slowly to me,

Still can't find what keeps me here.

When all this time I've been so hollow inside.

I know you're still there."

"Haunted" – Evanescence.

_It would have been easier, if you had not met her. _The voice reverberated in Squall's mind. Imbecile, he thought with a choke of sardonic laughter for using the sorceress's word. For some reason he could not fathom, the present was not a hazy mist. He was aware, his conscious peaked. Where was his slumberland? The picturesque dreamy wonderland where his rational thoughts could not intrude and reality a fantasy? Today was not going to be one of those days, he thought emotionlessly.

The hold she had on him was weakening. But why? She was always so careful to slip him back under the carpet the moment she sensed his mind wandered. It had been going on for so long, that he had no clue as to how to differentiate his consciousness with her illusions. He felt it in the air that surrounded him, that there was something unusual about now. How long has it been? Am I old? Past my age of youth? Am I dismissed from servitude by my sorceress?

He still could not remember how he came to be, or what his name was, but one thing he knew for sure today was going to be a catalyst for change. He could smell it with his honed senses for blood and death. But he was still puzzled. Where had the heavy feeling that hung upon his senses gone? He was glad for it, but… it was familiar, a pain he was used to. _I think that I must be losing my mind. _

_"Of course.__ I lost it when I met you." _

Squall jerked up from his listless sitting position. "Who said that?"

_When I met you…_

_What does this mean? Who?_

The darkness overwhelmed him, the inky stuffiness of the air suffocated his mind. He could not, he could not… but he found that he could not keep himself from it.

_Ellone! Sis! I need you!

* * *

_

Brown eyes snapped open, and a hand flew across the bed to switch on the lamp. Messy, short hair, the same colour as the eyes framed the face that was flushed with shock.

"After so long… all these years." She panted, her chest heaving with intakes of breath. She leaned back weakly against her cushions. Great, she muttered, she had fallen asleep on the couch again. Her back ached in protest, but it was nothing she felt next to the stinging memory of the bleak voice that reached out to her.

"Four years I have waited. Why did you not call out before?" Ellone searched the depths of her mind, using all the skill and power she had to find the source of the call, but in vain. It had to be there, some shred of memory, some past to go back to… but there was only darkness, the suffocating feel of a void. Her eyes filled, and a lone tear traced its way down her cheek.

"Oh, Squall. Where _are _you?

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all who suddenly reviewed out of the blue! This story is so old, I never thought people even looked anymore. But I always meant to finish it sometime. The reviews did a good job of kick starting me back into action! Thanks! So there it is, enjoy. For those who really wanted some interaction between Squall and Rinoa, the next chapter (I hope) won't disappoint.


End file.
